Destiny
by Fuzzy Ears Fan
Summary: Merlin was just a girl trying to make her way in the world.  She didn't ask to be born a powerful witch, and she certainly didn't ask to be Prince Arthur's servant.  However, Destiny sometimes gives us things we don't ask for. FINISHED!
1. Year One

A/N: Hello! This is something new for me, but I really wanted to write a story where Merlin is a girl. This chapter and the next one will cover the first two seasons of the show as if each season covers the events of a year. So, this chapter is Merlin's first year in Camelot. I tried really hard not to just rewrite the episodes, but I don't know how successful I was. Anyway, I hope you like it. Feel free to review to tell me what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

/

All lives, no matter how small or seemingly worthless, are made up of moments. The year that Merlin turned eighteen, the year she moved to Camelot, was made up of moments that would change the course of history itself. Of course, she didn't know that when she was packing her few meager belongings into a bag.

"That's everything." she said as she hoisted the bag onto her back. Her mother smiled and took her hand as they walked to the edge of Ealdor, the only home Merlin had ever known.

"Be careful and have a safe journey." Hunith said as she embraced her only child. Merlin returned the embrace and inhaled the scent of her mother. It was a smell that never failed to calm her.

"I will. Take care, Mother." she said as she made herself pull away. Hunith cupped her cheek and ignored the way her eyes were filling with tears.

"Yes, and you do the same."

She pressed a kiss to Merlin's forehead and then stepped aside. Merlin walked into the forest and didn't look back. She had only gone half a mile before she heard a familiar voice call her name. She tried not to smile as she turned around.

"I thought you said you weren't going to see me off?" she called to the boy running after her. He caught up and then smiled as he tried to catch his breath.

"Well, I changed my mind."

Merlin laughed.

"You always do, Will."

Will stepped forward and took her hand.

"I don't always, Merlin." he said meaningfully. Merlin blushed and tried to draw her hand away, but he wouldn't let her.

"Will, please, don't do this. I gave you my answer, and it hasn't changed. I'm going to Camelot."

Will growled and released her hand as if it had burned him.

"Why? This is your home! This is where the people who love you are! Why would you want to go so far away when everything you need is right here? I don't understand you, Merlin."

Merlin smiled softly at him.

"I know you don't, Will. There's plenty about myself that _I_ don't even understand, and that's why I have to go. My mother was right when she said that Ealdor is just too small for me. I won't be happy if I stay."

"I could make you happy, Merlin. I could!" Will pleaded, but Merlin just shook her head. Will wasn't going to give up without a fight, so he pulled her flush against him and pressed his lips to hers. Merlin let him kiss her. When he pulled away and gently ran his fingers over her cheek he whispered, "Do you not care about me at all?"

Merlin gave him a teary smile.

"You know I do. You are my best friend and I love you, Will, but I can't stay here and be your wife. I'm not what you need."

"But you're what I _want_." Will pressed. Merlin drew his hand away from her face and pressed it to his chest.

"I wish I felt the same way about you, Will. You don't know how much I wish it. It would make things so much easier, but I can't make myself feel something that I don't. Please, don't be angry at me for wanting what's best for you."

Will shook his head and looked away from her.

"I was never angry at you." he mumbled.

Merlin laughed lightly.

"That's not the impression I got last night when you were yelling at me, telling me that I was stupid and was making the worst mistake of my life."

Will met her gaze again and gave a half-hearted smirk.

"I didn't mean any of it, Merlin. You know me; I don't think before I say things."

"Yes, I do know you, Will. I know that you're brave and loyal and true. I know that you will make a good husband and that your wife will be a very lucky woman. I know that one day you will thank me for turning down your proposal."

Will shook his head before he drew her into a tight embrace. Merlin clutched his tunic between her fists and drew him close.

"It won't be the same without you." he whispered into her ear.

"No, I don't suppose it will. Trees won't nearly crush people, smoke from the cook fire won't form the shapes of animals, and half the fencing around the pig pen won't mysteriously vanish."

Will laughed and hugged her tighter.

"Yeah, it'll be really boring."

Merlin stood in the embrace for a moment more before she finally pushed Will away.

"I'm sure you'll stir up enough trouble on your own to keep things interesting."

Will smiled and then sighed.

"I'm going to miss you, Merlin."

"I'll miss you too."

Will stepped away from her and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Just promise me that you'll be careful. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you."

"I promise."

They silently gazed at each other for a minute and then Merlin steeled herself. She gave Will one last smile and then turned to continue her journey. He didn't try and stop her and she walked away without another word.

/

So many things happened in such a short time when Merlin got to Camelot that she could barely believe it. She felt that she would never get used to the hustle and bustle of the city, much less learn how to not get horribly lost in the castle corridors. The days melded into each other and Merlin was just trying to keep up when the world came to a screeching halt one afternoon. She was taking a walk and enjoying the sunshine when she first saw him. He was laughing and showing off to a group of boys. At first Merlin just smiled, but then she saw that he was throwing daggers at a target that a terrified servant boy was holding. When the boy dropped the target and it rolled toward her, Merlin had had enough.

"Hey! You've had your fun, my friend, so stop it." she called. The boy that had caught her eye looked at her in astonishment and then made his way toward her. Merlin couldn't help but notice that the closer he got, the more attractive he was.

"Excuse me?" he asked when he was standing right in front of her.

"I said stop it." Merlin said as she stood a little straighter.

"No, I heard that. I was talking about you calling me 'friend.'"

Merlin smiled. So that's how he wanted to be, well fine.

"That was my mistake. I'd never have a friend who could be such an ass."

The people within earshot gasped and immediately went quiet. The blonde man just stared at her as if she had suddenly grown another head.

"I could have you thrown in the stocks for that." he finally forced out. Merlin laughed and made to walk away, but he grabbed her arm.

"Where do you think you're going?" he demanded.

"Away from you, obviously." Merlin said. Before she could stop herself or think about what she was doing, she raised her hand and slapped him. His draw dropped for a second and then he growled.

"Well if you're so anxious to get away, then how about I send you to the dungeon? Guards!"

Merlin scoffed.

"Who do you think you are, the king?"

He shoved her into the arms of two palace guards.

"No, I'm his son, Arthur." he said as she was dragged away.

/

Some time after Merlin first met the prince, she met the Great Dragon. He'd been calling her, and she finally answered his call just to prove to herself that she hadn't gone crazy. He told her of destiny and Arthur, but Merlin didn't really listen. She decided that there might be some truth to his words when the night of Lady Helen's performance came. Merlin watched helplessly as the magic swept over the room and everyone fell asleep. She tracked Lady Helen's movements as she made her way up the hall toward the high table and the slumbering prince. When Merlin saw the knife, a cold terror seized her. She was finding it hard to breathe and her heart was pounding so loudly in her chest she could hear it. Without even thinking about it she made the chandelier fall from the ceiling and tried not to wince as it crushed Lady Helen. Everyone immediately began to wake up and Merlin breathed a sigh of relief. Well, she did until she saw that Lady Helen, who was not really Lady Helen at all, managed to get up enough to throw her knife straight at the prince.

"No!" Merlin whispered frantically as she ran toward Arthur. Again, her magic acted without her conscious thought and time slowed down. When she got to Arthur, she grabbed his tunic and pulled him as hard as she could. They were falling, but Merlin didn't care as she watched the knife hit the back of Arthur's chair. It would have imbedded itself in his heart and instantly killed him, of that there was no doubt in Merlin's mind. Time resumed its normal pace as Merlin landed on the stone floor with Arthur on top of her. He looked down at her with wide eyes and Merlin was suddenly _very_ aware of their intimate position. Every inch of the prince's body was pressed against hers and their faces were so close that their noses were touching. Arthur seemed to realize this too because he blushed and then rolled off of her and to his feet very quickly. Merlin was trying to right herself when the king extended his hand. She had no choice but to take it.

"You just saved my son's life!" he exclaimed.

"It…it was nothing, Sire."

King Uther shook his head.

"It most certainly is not. You shall be rewarded!"

Merlin blushed and shook her head.

"No, that's not necessary. Really."

Uther was having none of it.

"This merits something quite special. You'll be given a position in the royal household. You'll be Prince Arthur's personal servant."

Merlin felt faint, and Arthur spluttered indignantly, but Uther had made up his mind. It seemed she was going to be a part of the prince's life, just like the Dragon had said, whether or not she or Arthur liked it.

/

Time passed and Merlin got used to spending her days at Arthur's beck and call. He was just as arrogant and cocky as he was the first time she met him, but after a while Merlin began to notice things about him. When he was deep in thought he often pressed his hand to his mouth and gazed out his window. When he was trying to figure out something then he would pace. When he thought Merlin wasn't paying attention he would sigh and let his guard drop. Those were the times that Merlin got to see glimpses of _Arthur_, and not _Prince_ Arthur. That was when Merlin could see just how stressful his duties were, and how hard he tried to keep up his image. Arthur also liked to pinch the bridge of his nose when he was annoyed, and more often than not he was annoyed about something Merlin had done.

"How is it that you are so naturally useless, Merlin?"

"It doesn't come naturally. I have to work quite hard at it, _Sire_."

That was something else Merlin had noticed. Arthur actually quite enjoyed the fact that she refused to bend to his will. They had a lot of banter between the two of them, and Merlin found herself trying to keep him going until he would finally just shake his head and smile. She liked his smile more than she cared to admit.

All in all, they were forming a kind of friendship. It wasn't like the friendship she had with Will, which was mostly based on the love of mischief and fun, and it wasn't like her friendship with Gwen, which was intimate and comfortable. Without Gwen, who had become like Merlin's sister, she didn't know how she would have survived her first weeks in Camelot. Even so, her friendship with Arthur was something dear to her. It was full of back-and-forth comments between them, small smiles, yelling, quiet moments, name-calling, and trust. At least, Merlin trusted Arthur. She liked to think that Arthur trusted her as well, but the first time it was actually proven was something Merlin would never forget.

"Valiant is using magic to beat his opponents." she said to Arthur. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and shook his head.

"He wouldn't dare."

Merlin tried not to scream. She pulled out the snakehead that she'd just cut off.

"I saw the snakes on his shield come alive. I killed one of them so that I could show you."

Arthur stepped toward her and took the head from her hand. He gazed at it and twirled it between his hands.

"Come on, Arthur. Have you ever seen a snake like that in Camelot? He's using magic to win."

Arthur looked up at her with an expression that she couldn't read.

"I want you to swear to me that what you're telling me is true." he said quietly.

"I swear it's true."

Arthur nodded and then looked back at the head. After a moment he said, "Then I believe you."

Merlin smiled and warmth burst in her chest and spread throughout her body. Arthur believed her; he trusted her. Everything was going to be fine. Of course, it took a little more to make everything fine. The king didn't believe Arthur, the prince was furious and fired her, she spent a sleepless night learning a spell to make the snakes come alive, and then she nearly cried from joy when Arthur beat Valiant. At the feast that night she was still smiling when Arthur found her.

"Congratulations, Arthur. You fought bravely today." she said as Arthur settled on the wall next to her. He just nodded and continued to look over the other people in the room. After a moment he turned toward her.

"I owe you an apology, Merlin. It seems you were right."

"Yes, it does."

Arthur sighed.

"Don't let it go to your head, Merlin. You're still the worst servant I've ever had."

Merlin turned toward him with a hopeful smile.

"Your servant? Didn't you fire me?"

Arthur smiled.

"I'm rehiring you. My chambers are a mess, my laundry needs doing, my armor needs polishing, and my dogs need exercising."

Merlin laughed.

"You're hopeless. How did you ever survive without me?"

Arthur shrugged but didn't reply. He stayed close to Merlin for the rest of the night, but she didn't mind.

/

Time continued to go by, filled with moments that had Merlin feeling terrified, or heartbroken, or helpless, like when Gwen was arrested for witchcraft when it was really Merlin who had used magic to cure her father, but there were also moments that made her feel strong and powerful and right, like when she got Arthur and Morgana to work with her to fight the beast causing the sickness and clear Gwen's name. When one of Bayard's servants told her that Bayard had poisoned Arthur's goblet, the only thing she felt was protectiveness. She grabbed the goblet from him before he could take a drink, and when Uther ordered her to drink from it she did so without hesitation. Merlin knew that all eyes were on her as she drained the cup, but the only one she paid attention to was Arthur. He was tense, as if he would like nothing more than to swat the goblet out of her hands. When she felt the poison burning her throat and making it nearly impossible to breathe, it was Arthur who got to her first. She heard Gwen's gasp, she heard Uther order Bayard to be seized, she heard Gaius say that he needed to see the goblet so he could determine what kind of poison it was laced with, but the last thing she heard before she fell into the darkness was Arthur whispering frantically in her ear, "Don't you dare die, Merlin. Don't even think about it."

After she woke up, cured from what had threatened to take her life, Gaius told her how Arthur had defied his father and gone to find the flower that would save her. He also told her that she had used magic to help him, though he had no idea how she knew he was in trouble. Merlin didn't remember any of it, but what she did remember was Arthur coming to see her. Gaius had left to go on his rounds and Merlin had dragged herself out to the main room to get something to eat. Her guardian had left a bowl of soup out for her, but by the time she made it to the table she was too weak to lift the spoon. That was when Arthur walked in.

"Still alive then?" he asked as he placed a hand on the back of her chair. His knuckles brushed the back of her neck and she shivered. He was so warm.

"Yeah. I hear I have you to thank for that." she said as she looked up at him. He smiled at her and then looked away.

"Well, it was nothing. A half-decent servant is hard to come by, and I didn't feel like finding another one."

Merlin smiled. To anyone else that statement would have sounded nonchalant, but Merlin could hear the worried undertone in it.

"Of course, Sire."

Arthur looked back at her and then frowned.

"Should you be out of bed yet? You look terrible."

Merlin nodded toward the bowl of soup.

"I was hungry."

Arthur nodded and said, "Then eat. Why are you just looking at it?"

Merlin blushed and ducked her head.

"I can't lift the spoon." she whispered. Arthur was silent, and Merlin was sure that he was thinking of something to say to tease her, but instead he just sat beside her and reached for the spoon. He ladled a bite of the soup into it and then held it up to Merlin's lips.

"Come on, open up. I can't have you starving to death after I went to all the trouble to bring back that damned flower."

Merlin was too shocked to do anything but what he said, but she winced when the soup hit her tongue.

"Hot." she said to Arthur's confused look. He gave her an apologetic smile and before he gave her the next bite he blew on it so that it wouldn't burn her. This continued until Merlin had finished the whole bowl. When she was done she said, "You didn't have to do that."

"I did if you didn't want to wait until Gaius got back."

Merlin just smiled.

"Well, thank you."

Arthur gave her a thoughtful look.

"I should be thanking you. Once again, you saved my life."

Merlin blushed, but Arthur stood up before she could say anything.

"Get some rest." he said before he walked out into the corridor. Merlin dragged herself back to her room and was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

/

Jealousy was not something that Merlin was particularly familiar with, but she knew it when she saw it. It was burning in Arthur's eyes when he found out that Lancelot was sleeping in Merlin's room. The man had come to Camelot to be a knight, and had saved Merlin from the griffin. She'd offered him a place to stay in gratitude. Arthur had given him a chance, and he'd earned his knighthood. At the feast celebrating his accomplishment Arthur asked him where he'd been staying. Lancelot had answered that Merlin had let him stay with her, and Arthur quickly excused himself. He caught Merlin's arm and dragged her into a secluded corner of the room.

"Is it true that Lancelot is sleeping in your room?" he demanded in a harsh whisper.

"Yes. He saved my life. It was the least I could do to offer him a bed."

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose and ground out, "Did it have to be _yours_? Do you have no sense of propriety?"

Merlin took a step back.

"Of course I do!" she said indignantly.

"It doesn't seem like it when you offer to share your bed with a stranger."

"Arthur what are you talking about? I'm not _sharing_ my bed with Lancelot. I gave him my room and I'm sleeping on the spare cot in the main chamber across from Gaius."

All the fight seemed to drain from Arthur and he just stared at Merlin. Everything came together at that moment and she burst into laughter. Arthur huffed and crossed his arms over his chest as she continued to laugh.

"I don't see what's so funny." he finally said. Merlin wiped her eyes and smiled.

"The fact that you thought that Lancelot and I were _involved_. Oh, Arthur, you're very sweet to try and protect about my virtue, but I promise you, you don't have to worry." she said as she laid her hand gently on his arm. Her smile only grew at the light blush that began to cover the prince's cheeks. He coughed and shook her hand off.

"Yes, well, I should get back. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning."

"Of course, Sire." Merlin said before Arthur walked away. She was still laughing about the whole thing late into the night.

/

Merlin was still shaken up over the Edwin debacle and the threat to Gaius' life when Arthur came back from hunting with two strangers in tow. Jealousy once again reared its ugly head in Camelot, but this time it was Merlin who was feeling it. She couldn't help it when she saw how much time Arthur was spending with Sophia, the girl he had rescued in the woods. When Arthur announced that he wished to marry her, Merlin had to remind herself how to breathe. She tried to pinch herself, thinking that it had to be a dream, but she quickly determined that it was a nightmare. When Arthur disappeared along with the two strangers, Merlin knew he was in trouble. She ran frantically through the forest praying that she'd get to him before something terrible happened. Merlin watched as he fell backwards into the water of the lake and her heart nearly stopped. She dealt with Sophia and her father and then rushed into the water.

"Arthur!" she kept calling as she tried to find him. It took far too long before she could get to him, and even longer before she could get him to shore. When she had him on the bank she leaned over him and pushed on his chest to get the water out of his lungs. He finally coughed it up and then began to breathe again. Merlin collapsed next to him and tried to slow her racing heart.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have this horrible habit of nearly getting yourself killed? It's a wonder you've managed to keep yourself alive so long." she gasped out as she stared up at the sky. Arthur, of course, didn't respond.

"I mean it! I've never met anyone more prone to getting themselves into life-threatening situations."

Merlin pushed herself up and looked at the prince. He was soaking wet and pale, but he was still the most beautiful man that Merlin had ever seen.

"You're such a prat." she whispered as she brushed his hair out of his face.

"I must be as big an idiot as you keep telling me though. If I wasn't there's no way I'd have let myself fall in love with you."

Merlin traced his lips and then snatched her hand back. She got up and then negotiated Arthur onto her back. It was a long, slow walk back to Camelot.

/

Months came and went, but life continued in Camelot. Arthur helped Merlin and Morgana save a druid boy named Mordred, which the Dragon was not happy about. He told Merlin to just let the boy die, but Merlin couldn't let a child go to the executioner. Some time after that Merlin learned that Arthur's uncle had been brought back from the dead to take his revenge, but a magic sword forged in the Dragon's breath solved that problem. It was hard to believe, but Merlin was getting used to all the weirdness that seemed to be attracted to Camelot and its royal family. Of course, it helped that she and Arthur were getting closer. He was starting to smile at her more, and she found herself checking on him even on her few and far between days off. Even with all the danger, Merlin was happy.

Merlin was getting water one autumn afternoon when she saw her mother walking though the marketplace. She set down her bucket and rushed to the woman, but stopped when she saw the dark bruise covering her eye. Merlin led her to Gaius' chamber and then Hunith told her what was happening in Ealdor. Merlin clenched her firsts and stormed out of the room. She threw open the door of Arthur's chamber and he dropped a cup in his surprise.

"I need you to arrange an audience with the king." she said. Arthur just looked at her as he picked up his cup.

"You'll clean that up later. Now, what's this about needing to see my father?"

"Some men are raiding my home and stealing their food. Their leader hurt my mother. I need you to arrange for her to see him so that she can ask for his help."

Arthur stopped and asked, "Your mother is here?"

Merlin was still shaking in rage and didn't have time for his questions.

"Yes! Now, will you arrange a meeting with the king or not?" she screamed. Arthur could only nod. He'd never seen Merlin like this.

"Thank you." Merlin said before she turned and left. The next day Hunith was granted her audience with Uther, but he would not help Ealdor. Merlin led her mother from the throne room and helped her prepare for the journey back. When Hunith saw her daughter packing her own bag, she decided not to say anything. She knew she couldn't convince Merlin to stay. Merlin told her how to get to the stables and then she went to find Arthur. He was up on one of the towers looking out over the city. Merlin walked over to him and stood at his side.

"I'm going back to Ealdor." she said without preamble.

"Of course."

"You understand?" she asked.

Arthur turned to look at her.

"I'd do exactly the same thing. I'm sorry about my father. If it were up to me we'd already be on our way there."

Merlin smiled.

"I know."

Arthur sighed.

"I wish things were different. I wish Camelot could help people regardless of where they lived."

"When you're king, that will be true."

They were silent for a moment and Merlin felt her eyes grow hot as tears gathered. This was harder than she thought it would be.

"Well, it's been an honor serving you, Sire."

Arthur turned to face her with pain in his eyes.

"You'll be coming back?"

Merlin shook her head.

"She's my mother. I've got to look after her before anyone else."

She could tell that Arthur wanted to argue, but he didn't.

"Look after yourself too." he finally said.

Merlin smiled and then turned to leave before Arthur could see her cry. When she got down to the stables she was only a little surprised to see Gwen and Morgana standing with her mother. The four of them set out for Ealdor and Merlin had the distinct feeling that Arthur was watching them go.

/

In the end, Arthur ended up joining them. He caught up with them that night and Merlin was more than a little happy to see him. They made it to Ealdor in record time but not a moment too soon. The raiders were there, but Arthur drove them off. Merlin looked around at the terrified faces of the people she'd known all her life and knew that she'd never be able to thank Arthur for coming to help them. When her gaze landed on Will, she couldn't help but smile.

"Will." she breathed and then rushed toward him. He met her halfway and wrapped her in a tight embrace.

"Merlin! It's good to see you."

"I wish it was under better circumstances." she said into his neck. She pulled away, but was still standing in the circle of Will's arms when Arthur called her name.

"Who's that?" Will asked.

Merlin didn't get a chance to answer before Arthur called her again.

"I'll let him introduce himself." she said as she ran to catch up with Arthur. The rest of the day was spent deciding what they were going to do about the raiders. Once it was decided that they would fight, Arthur began training them on how to use weapons. Will thought everyone was crazy. He caught Merlin's arm the next day and pulled her away.

"Your prince is going to get us all killed. We're not fighters, Merlin. You know that." he said.

"I know, but Arthur is the best knight in Camelot. If anyone can teach us how to fight, it's him."

Will scoffed.

"You've got a lot of faith in him. Are you sure it's not misplaced?"

Merlin frowned.

"I'm positive. I trust him, Will, with my life. You'd do well to do the same."

"I don't put my life in the hands of nobles." Will spat. Merlin immediately felt bad. She knew how Will felt about nobles. Ever since his father was killed in the service of one he's hated them with a passion.

"I know, Will, but Arthur isn't like other nobles. He's good and kind and trustworthy. He cares about people. He won't let us down."

Will shook his head in disbelief.

"For someone who hasn't even known this guy a year you sure speak highly of him. If I didn't know any better I'd think you were in love with him."

Merlin didn't respond and after a moment Will laughed.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you are. Seriously? You realize that you'll never be anything except the girl who picks up after him, don't you? He'll never feel that way about you, Merlin, so do yourself a favor and stop kidding yourself. It'll save you the heartbreak."

Merlin shook her head and clenched her fists.

"I knew you were a lot of things, Will, but I didn't know you were cruel." she whispered as she walked away from him. Merlin heard him kick over a barrel, but she didn't turn around.

/

The battle with the raiders came, and at first everything seemed to be going well. Merlin's friends and neighbors were fighting well in defense of their home, but Kanen's men were better trained. They eventually got the upper hand and Merlin had to use her magic to save them all. She thought she'd driven all the raiders away, but Kanen remained, and he challenged Arthur. Arthur easily overpowered him and dealt him a mortal blow. Just before he died he fired a crossbow at Arthur's back. Will pushed Arthur out of the way and fell as the arrow pierced his chest. Merlin screamed and rushed to his side. She and Arthur carried him into his home, but they both knew there was nothing they could do. Arthur left Merlin alone with her friend.

"I told you he would be the death of me." Will gasped out. Merlin shook her head and ignored the tears trailing down her cheeks.

"Will, I…"

"Don't. It's all right, Merlin. I was wrong about him. He does deserve your loyalty and trust. I'm sorry for doubting him."

Merlin ran her fingers through his hair.

"It's okay. It's not important right now."

"Yes it is. It is important, Merlin. I've watched him, and I've seen the way he looks at you; the way he has a smile he only gives to you. I was wrong. He loves you, Merlin."

"You're crazy."

Will shook his head.

"No. He does. That's why I couldn't let him die. You love him too, so it would have hurt you so much to have to watch him die."

Merlin choked out a sob and pressed her forehead to Will's.

"And you think it doesn't hurt me to watch you die? Arthur's not the only man I love, Will. I love you too."

Will laughed.

"But not enough."

Merlin sat back so she could look him in the eyes. Will smiled at her.

"I wanted you to be my wife, but I guess your destiny is greater than that. Promise me that you'll be happy, Merlin. Promise me that you'll live a long life filled with laughter and love. Promise me that you'll never settle for less than you deserve."

Will was struggling to breathe and Merlin knew that he didn't have much time left. She clutched his hand and leaned over him.

"I promise." she said against his lips before she kissed him. He kissed her back and when Merlin pulled away she saw a single tear fall from his eye.

"I love you, Merlin."

"I know."

Will smiled at her one last time and then closed his eyes. He never opened them again. When they lit his funeral pyre, Arthur was standing next to her. He didn't say anything, just let her grieve. After a while he walked away and most of the villagers went with him. Merlin stayed. She stayed until the sun had nearly set. Finally, her mother came to her and drew her into an embrace. When she pulled away she cupped her daughters cheek and gave her a sad smile.

"Will wouldn't want you to be sad."

"Will wanted a lot of things he didn't get." Merlin whispered.

Hunith pressed a kiss to Merlin's forehead and then said, "You should go back to Camelot."

Merlin tried to argue, but Hunith wouldn't let her.

"You belong there, at Arthur's side. I've seen how much he needs you, how much you need him. It wouldn't be right for you to stay." Hunith took Merlin's hand and led her back into the village. The next morning Merlin left with the others.

/

It seemed to Merlin like she'd just gotten back to Camelot when Arthur killed a unicorn and brought a plague to the city. At first he refused to acknowledge that it was his fault, but eventually he had no choice but to admit it. Merlin saw how much he was suffering because he had brought this upon his people, and it broke her heart. She sought out Anhora, keeper of the unicorns, to plead with him to let Arthur make it right. When Arthur sets off to do just that, Merlin follows him but is captured by Anhora. She sees Arthur again when he sits down at the table Anhora brought her to. The unicorn guardian tells the rules of the test, and Arthur sighs.

"There's got to be a way to figure this out." Merlin says but Arthur just shakes his head.

"It's simple; one of us has to die."

"Then we'll come up with a way to tell which cup has the poison and then I'll drink it."

Arthur laughed.

"You'll drink it? I had no idea you were so keen to die for me."

Merlin smiled.

"Trust me, I can hardly believe it myself."

After a few minutes they decide to pour all the liquid into one up and then drink it. Merlin tried to do it, but Arthur snatches the cup away from her.

"Arthur, no! You can't die; this isn't your destiny. Listen to me."

"You know me, Merlin. I never listen to you."

He downed the liquid in one gulp and Merlin felt her heart shatter in her chest when he fell. She screamed and fell to her knees over him.

"No! Arthur! Arthur, wake up! It's not supposed to be this way!" she screamed at Anhora, but he just shook his head.

"The prince is fine. He'll awaken in a few moments."

"But, the poison?"

"Was nothing but a sleeping potion. The point of this test was to determine what was truly in his heart. He has passed the test. The curse will be lifted."

Anhora disappeared just as Arthur was coming to. He groaned and then blinked up at Merlin.

"Don't tell me you followed me into death too!" he said.

Merlin laughed, she just couldn't help it.

"Don't flatter yourself, prat. You aren't dead. The poison was just a sleeping potion. You're fine."

Arthur took a few minutes to let that sink in, and then he nodded.

"Well, since I'm not dead, do you suppose you could get off me so that I can get up?" he asked. Merlin looked down to see that she was still straddling his waist. With a blush she quickly pushed herself away from him and he got up. They were back on the horses heading for Camelot before the silence between them was broken.

"Why did you do that? I should have been the one to drink it." Merlin said.

"No, you shouldn't have been."

"But you life is worth much more than mine. You're the prince, I'm just a servant."

Arthur turned in his saddle to level a hard glare at her.

"No one's life is worth any more than someone else's."

"But…"

"No buts, Merlin. I don't want to hear any more about it."

"You're such a prat!" Merlin huffed.

"And you're an idiot, but I wasn't going to let anything happen to you." Arthur sighed. Merlin couldn't think of a single thing to say to that.

/

A few weeks later, Uther's men executed Gwen's father. Merlin tried to console the girl, but she was devastated. When Merlin learned that Morgana was plotting to kill Uther, she thought about letting it happen, but found she just couldn't. In the end, Morgana couldn't let Uther die either.

The year was coming to a close. Just when Merlin thought it would end with some peace, a magical creature began terrorizing the lands around the city. Arthur and his knights were sent out to kill it, and Merlin followed. Arthur had ordered her to stay in the city, but Gaius said that the beast could only be killed by magic, so Merlin went after them. She wasn't quick enough. Arthur was bitten and by the time they got back to Camelot, he was nearing Death's door.

"What have I told you about this habit of yours? You really ought to kick it." Merlin whispered as she placed a cool cloth on his forehead. Uther had been dragged from Arthur's bedside to get some rest, and Merlin was watching over the prince in his place.

"I guess you wouldn't be who you are if you had any sense of self-preservation, though. Either way, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to let you die. You have to become king, Arthur. You have to because you're going to be the greatest king Camelot has ever known. You're going to do so many wonderful things, and your people are going to adore you. They're going to love you almost as much as I do and they're going to be proud to call you their sovereign. I promise you I will make you better."

Merlin managed to keep her promise, though it wasn't easy. She offered her life to save Arthur's, but Nimueh was a trickster. She tried to take Hunith's life, but Merlin would not have that. She planned to go back and demand that Nimueh take her life, but Gaius beat her to it. When it was all said and done, it was Nimueh's life that was traded for Arthur's, but no one was very upset by that turn of events. When Merlin went to see the prince for the first time after everything had been settled he was still in bed.

"I was wondering when you'd show up. You did take your time." he said when he saw her slip through the door.

"I figured you'd have enough company that you wouldn't miss me." Merlin said in what she hoped was a teasing tone. Apparently, it didn't work.

"Is something the matter? You look terrible." Arthur said when Merlin reached his bedside.

"Why thank you, Sire, you look pretty awful yourself."

"Yes, well, I nearly died. What's your excuse."

Merlin felt the stress of the last few days bubble up inside her and she finally couldn't contain it anymore. Before she could stop herself she began to cry. Arthur was shocked into silence.

"_That's_ my excuse. You nearly died, Arthur, and you don't seem to care! People were grieving for you. They gathered in the courtyard and had a candlelight vigil to say goodbye to you! I sat here and watched as he slipped farther and farther away, so _excuse me_ if I look a bit frazzled!"

Merlin covered her face with her hands and collapsed into the chair that was still at Arthur's bedside. She sobbed and sobbed and couldn't do anything to stop herself. She heard the rustle of fabric and then she felt arms around her. On hand came to the back of her neck and pressed her face into a warm chest and another hand ran soothing circles over her back. Merlin moved her hands away from her face to fist into the soft fabric of Arthur's nightshirt.

"I'm alright, Merlin. I'm still here. I didn't die." he whispered. Merlin just continued to cry.

"You know, it's strange. I can't really remember anything after I was knocked out in the cave, but there's this vague notion I have that you were talking to me. You said I was going to be a great king or something like that."

Merlin had finally calmed down enough to speak and she said, "It couldn't have been me. I wouldn't inflate your ego like that."

Arthur laughed.

"No, I suppose not. Are you going to be alright now?"

Merlin nodded and Arthur moved so that he was lying in bed again.

"I don't suppose you're going to let me forget this little episode?" Merlin asked hopefully. Arthur smirked.

"Not a chance."

Merlin sighed.

"I didn't think so."

And that was how Merlin's first year in Camelot ended.


	2. Year Two

A/N: Well, here it is, the next chapter. I tried to put more Merlin/Arthur moments into this one. I hope you like it! Feel free to leave a review and tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

/

The first few weeks of Merlin's second year were relatively calm. The only thing that was happening was the digging going on beneath the castle. King Uther was convinced that there were treasures to be found down there, and he was determined to find them. At first the men only dug during the day, but after some time Uther ordered them to work round the clock. It was exceedingly hard to sleep with the noise they made down below. Just when Merlin didn't think she could take it anymore, and Arthur had also come to the end of his rope, the men found a tomb. It was filled with riches, but it made Gaius nervous. Shortly after the tomb was found, Cedric showed up in Camelot. He did everything in his power to get close to the prince, and Merlin didn't like it at all. He was sabotaging her work and driving a wedge between her and Arthur.

"I can't believe Arthur's being so stupid! As if someone would show up out of the blue and fall at his feet in servitude. Cedric's up to something, and I'm going to find out what it is." Merlin said to Arthur's favorite horse as she brushed his gleaming brown coat. She'd been sent to groom the horses after showing up at Arthur's chambers earlier only to find that Cedric had already done her normal chores, as well as the ones that Merlin wasn't allowed to do like helping Arthur bathe and dressing him.

"That sniveling little man is not going to ruin everything for me. He's not going to take my place without a fight."

At that moment Merlin was overcome with exhaustion. Before she could comprehend what was happening, she fell into the straw unconscious. When she woke up it was to find Arthur standing over her.

"Have a nice nap?" he asked. Merlin scrambled to her feet and tried to remember what had happened.

"What? No. I mean…I wasn't asleep."

Arthur nodded.

"Of course you weren't."

"I wasn't! I was…looking for something."

Arthur looked around and said, "Perhaps we're looking for the same thing."

"What?"

"The horses!" Arthur yelled. That's when Merlin noticed that all four horses were indeed no longer in the stable.

"I'm used to you being half useless, Merlin, but this is getting extreme."

Cedric walked in and stood to the side with his head bowed; the picture of a perfect servant. Merlin felt the rage bubble up within her and she screamed, "Cedric's the one responsible! He's trying to get close to you by making me look like a fool. If you weren't such a clotpole you'd see that!"

Arthur frowned.

"A what?"

Merlin dropped her arms and tried to think of a way to make this better, but Cedric cut in with, "A clotpole. She said, 'clotpole.'"

Arthur looked between the two of them and then pointed a finger at Merlin.

"You need to go home and figure out whether you want to be my servant or not."

"Arthur…" Merlin pleaded, but Arthur just yelled at her to leave. She didn't need to be told twice.

/

The next day Gaius determined that the tomb belonged to Cornelius Sigan, the most powerful sorcerer to have ever lived. The day after that, his tomb was broken into and his soul had been released. It didn't take long for Merlin to determine who was responsible.

"Arthur, I need to talk to you about Cedric." she said as she caught him going over some reports one afternoon.

"What about Cedric?" he asked without even looking up.

"He's possessed by the soul of an evil sorcerer." Merlin said. It was best not to sugarcoat things when it came to Arthur. The prince looked at her for a moment and then he laughed.

"Right." he finally said.

"I'm serious! He's not who you think he is."

Arthur stood up and asked, "Have you been on the cider?"

Merlin spluttered.

"What? No! I'm telling you the truth!"

She heard the door open and footsteps approach. She didn't have to look to know who was standing behind her.

"I think you should leave, Merlin. Cedric, escort her out."

That was the last straw. Merlin turned around and lunged at Cedric. They ended up on the floor and Merlin pressed his face into the stone and shoved her thumb in one of his eyes. Cedric tried to dislodge her, but couldn't manage it. He finally thrust his elbow into her face and Merlin's mouth was immediately filled with the metallic, salty taste of blood. She rolled off Cedric and held the back of her hand up to her split lip. Arthur saw the blood dripping from her chin and he forcefully pulled Cedric up from the floor.

"Merlin, I'll deal with you shortly, but you, Cedric, will spend tonight in the cells for assaulting my servant." he said as he began to drag Cedric away, but Merlin just stood up and laughed.

"Oh please, don't bother. It's obvious who's _really _your servant now. I'll just go before I bleed all over your floor, _Sire_."

She stormed past the two men and felt a small bit of satisfaction bloom in her chest when she saw the confusion and hurt flash through Arthur's eyes.

/

It only took two days for Arthur to find out that Merlin really had been telling the truth. Camelot was nearly destroyed and nearly a hundred people had died when Sigan tried to take his revenge. The day after the attack while everyone was cleaning up debris and dealing with the dead, Arthur came to see Merlin.

"It seems there was some truth to your accusations against Cedric." he said as he leaned against the door frame of her room.

"Just _some_ truth?" she asked, but had to wince when smiling hurt her lip. It was swollen and bruised. Arthur's gaze softened when he glanced at it. He came into the room and sat next to her on her narrow bed.

"Does it hurt very badly?"

Merlin shook her head.

"Only when I smile. Gaius says the swelling should be gone in a few days."

Arthur nodded.

"I was going to tell you to polish my armor since I've got a knighthood to bestow tomorrow, but I had another servant do it."

Merlin glanced at him and asked, "Why?"

"I wasn't sure if you were my servant or not anymore. After all, you quit before you stormed out of my chambers a few days ago."

Merlin ignored the pain in her lip as she smiled.

"I guess I did. But then, it's not as if you tried to stop me."

Arthur smirked.

"I wouldn't stop you if you really wanted to leave, Merlin." he said quietly.

Merlin looked into his blue eyes and had to resist the urge to brush her fingers over the broken skin on the side of his face where falling debris grazed him.

"I guess it's a good thing I don't want to leave then, isn't it?" she said just as quietly.

Arthur laughed softly before he said, "Yes. So, still my servant?"

"Until the day I die."

Arthur's mouth fell open at the conviction in her words, but he recovered himself after a few seconds. He placed his hand on her knee and gave it a slight squeeze before he stood up.

"Then I'll see you tomorrow morning. Don't be late."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Arthur laughed and shook his head at her before he turned and left her room.

/

The next few days Merlin spent with an almost constant smile on her face. Arthur seemed to be trying to make amends for tossing her aside for Cedric and he was being very nice. He even let Merlin eat meals with him sometimes, which is something that had never happened before. Usually Merlin would just steal a bite or two before she brought up his tray, but now she was allowed to sit across from him and have as much as she wanted. What was more, Arthur seemed to soften around her. He came storming in after a meeting with his father one morning and startled Merlin.

"Was it really that bad?" Merlin asked him after he'd slammed the door. Arthur looked at her and shook his head.

"I just wish he would listen to me more. I'm of age now, you would think he would at least pretend to consider my council, but he doesn't. It's so frustrating sometimes, but it's not like I can say anything. He's the king."

Arthur collapsed into his chair and Merlin could see all the tension beneath his skin. She walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder. As soon as the contact was made, it seemed like Arthur just melted. He became pliant and unclenched his fists.

"He won't always be king, and then you can do things your way." Merlin said as she released him after letting her fingers brush the side of his neck. That was something else that had begun happening more; Arthur would casually touch her and allowed her to do the same.

Arthur unconsciously leaned into her touch and then recoiled when it was gone before he said, "I know. Until then I just have to put up with it."

"It won't last forever. Now, get up. I've got to get you in your armor and down to the field for jousting drills."

Arthur smiled. He'd been looking forward to the jousting tournament. He allowed her nimble fingers to get his armor in place and then he left with a decidedly more springy step than he'd entered with.

/

Arthur learned later that day that his knights were going easy on him because he was the prince, and he couldn't bare the thought. He came up with a plan to see that that didn't happen in the tournament. Merlin didn't really like it, but she didn't really have a choice but to go along with what Arthur wanted. After arranging with Gwen for the prince to stay at her house for the duration of the event, Arthur put the rest of his plan into motion. A lie to his father saying he was going to investigate rumors of trouble was all it took for Arthur to become free to don his disguise and compete in the tournament without the royal label hanging over his head. The first day of the competition ended well for Arthur, and he fell asleep that night with a smile on his face. The smile was wiped off the next day when Gwen gave him a piece of her mind about his manners, and he sent her away so that he could cook her dinner as an apology. She caught up with Merlin in the market.

"You'll never guess what just happened." she said pulling Merlin away from the crowd.

"What? Is everything okay? Did something happen to Arthur?"

Gwen smiled and squeezed Merlin's hand.

"No, he's fine. I just yelled at him for being an inconsiderate prat and not thinking of other people's feelings before his own."

"So, you yelled at him for being himself?"

Gwen laughed.

"I suppose, but then he surprised me by saying that I was right. He sent me out so that he could cook me dinner to apologize. Can you believe that?"

Merlin shook her head.

"No. That doesn't sound like Arthur at all."

"I know. Would you mind going to check on him before he burns my house down? You and I both know he has no idea what to do in a kitchen."

Merlin thought about all the horrible things that could happen if Arthur was left by himself while attempting to cook. She nodded and set off for Gwen's. When she got there she found Arthur looking at a raw chicken like it was the most bizarre thing he'd ever laid eyes on.

"Gwen says your cooking." she said as she shut the door behind herself. Arthur turned and his eyes lit up when he saw her.

"Merlin! Thank God! I need you to go to the palace kitchens and bring back two dinners."

Merlin cocked her head to the side.

"So, you're not cooking?"

Arthur scoffed.

"Of course not! I just need Guinevere to _think_ I am."

Merlin crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head.

"Arthur, if you tell a girl you're going to cook for her, then you should cook for her."

"Merlin, I can't cook. The most I can do is clean game and stick it on a spit over a fire."

Merlin sighed and walked over to him.

"Then I'll help you. Just do what I say and we'll get through this."

She spent the next hour teaching Arthur the very basics of cooking. At first he grumbled about it all, but then he started to enjoy himself. Merlin couldn't help but smile when she saw how proud he was that the chicken turned out perfect. After she helped him set the table she moved toward the door.

"Well, I'll let you and Gwen enjoy your dinner. You actually didn't do a half bad job, so I'm sure she'll be surprised."

Arthur reached for her and took her hand.

"Merlin, thank you." he said as he looked into her eyes. Merlin just nodded and walked away when he let her go. She could still feel the warmth of his hand by the time she made it back to her room.

/

Arthur won the jousting tournament, even though someone had once again tried to kill him. His injury was painful, but luckily not too serious. He even surprised Gwen and Merlin by letting his decoy take credit for his victory instead of revealing himself to everyone. Merlin smiled because this meant that he was really changing and turning into the man she knew he could be instead of he bully he had been.

Only days after the tournament, Morgana's dreams became a major problem. Gaius told Merlin that Morgana likely was a seer and that her dreams were really visions of the future. He said that they must keep that from her though, but Merlin didn't think that was right. She helped Morgana go to the druids hoping that they could help her. When she returned, Merlin couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened to change her. She didn't know what, but she didn't think it was good. Of course, she didn't have much time to think about it, because Gwen was kidnapped and being held for ransom. Apparently her captures weren't so bright, and they thought that Gwen was Morgana. Uther refused to pay the ransom for a mere servant, but Merlin and Morgana couldn't let Gwen suffer. They went to plead with Arthur to go after her, but Arthur was already preparing to set out. Merlin caught up with him in the stables after she'd grabbed her own small bag.

"I'm coming with you." she said as she began to saddle a horse. Arthur shook his head and tried to stop her.

"It's too dangerous, Merlin. Just stay here and I'll be back as soon as I can."

"No! I'm not letting you go alone. I know you're the best knight in Camelot, but you still might need help."

Arthur laughed.

"And how are you going to help me? Your sword skills are laughable."

"I can manage. Besides, if nothing else I can cause a distraction long enough for you to take care of anyone that tries to stop us."

Arthur looked like he was going to argue some more, but Merlin just finished saddling the horse and swung up on its back.

"The longer we sit here arguing the more likely it is that Gwen will be hurt. We've got to hurry, Arthur."

Arthur had no choice but to mount his own horse and lead them both from the city. They rode hard until they came to the Tunnels of Andor. When they got there they covered themselves with foul smelling berries and made their way into the dark dwelling place of the wildren. They were almost out when they came upon one of the beasts, and Merlin held her breath as the creature sniffed her. If it could tell she was human, its favorite food, she was done for. Luckily, the berries masked her scent and the thing moved on. When they got out and were washing the berry residue from their skin, Arthur started laughing.

"I can't believe the berries worked!" he exclaimed. Merlin turned to glare at him incredulously.

"You didn't know if they would work?"

"Not really, no." Arthur said as if it wasn't a big deal.

Merlin threw her hands in the air.

"Oh, that's just great! I could have been killed! Oh, what's that wildren eating? Nothing, it's just Merlin."

Arthur laughed, but Merlin couldn't see what was funny.

"Oh come on, don't be so dramatic. I wasn't going to let you get eaten. If it had even tried I would have run it through."

"As if you would have had time before it bit my head off."

Arthur walked closer to her and placed his had at the side of her neck.

"Your head is going to be staying right where it is as long as I have any say. I promise you that."

Merlin's breath caught in her throat. Arthur looked so sure of that, like there was no doubt in his mind that he could keep her safe. She had the insane thought of telling him she was a witch right then and there, but she quickly got a hold of herself. There would be time for that later; right now they had to save Gwen.

"Well, that's good to know. Now, how about we go make sure that all of Gwen's body parts are still in their proper places, shall we?"

Arthur nodded and led the way down the river. Merlin was still replaying his words in her head as she followed after him.

/

They got Gwen back to Camelot safe and sound, and even managed to meet up with Lancelot again. He left before they reached the city, and Merlin could tell that Gwen was heartbroken by his departure. They'd grown very close during his previous stay in the kingdom.

At least a month passed where nothing happened. No threats were made to Arthur's life, nothing was attacking the city, no one was executed for using magic; Merlin was almost bored. That changed when Lady Catrina arrived. At first Merlin thought she was charming, and so did the king. Around the time that Uther started making eyes at the Lady, Merlin discovered that she was a troll. Even so, she could do nothing before Uther went and married the imposter. Arthur hadn't believed Merlin when she told him. After the wedding, Catrina accused Merlin of stealing her seal, and Uther sent guards to arrest her. Arthur got to her first.

"Merlin! You need to leave Camelot right now!" he yelled as he shut and barred his door. Merlin turned to stare at him in confusion.

"What? Why?"

"Catrina has accused you of stealing her seal. My father's ordered me to arrest you. If you value your life you will leave."

Merlin shook her head. She couldn't leave, not now.

"But I didn't steal anything!"

"You haven't got time to explain." he said.

"Arthur, she's a troll. I _saw_ her!" Merlin exclaimed.

Arthur came over and gripped her shoulders.

"We've been through this."

Merlin placed her hands on his chest and pleaded, "Why won't you believe me? Every time I've told you something about someone in the past I've always been proven right. Why do you think this time is any different?"

Arthur was about to say something when someone began to bang on his door and call for him.

"There isn't time, Merlin. You have to go."

"Arthur…"

He cut her off by pressing a kiss to her forehead. Merlin's mind went blank at the feel of his lips on her skin. It only lasted a second and then Arthur was pushing her towards the servant's entrance to his chambers.

"Go, Merlin. Please!"

Arthur's begging was her undoing, and she fled from his room.

/

Of course, like always, Merlin was right. Catrina was exposed, with a little help from Merlin and Gaius, and then taken care of, again with help from Merlin and Gaius. Although, that time they had Arthur's help too. He poisoned himself so that Uther would cry and break the enchantment Catrina had over him. Merlin didn't like to think about the terrifying moment when she didn't think she'd get the antidote to Arthur in time. After Arthur was cured, the enchantment was broken, and Catrina was killed, Merlin thought she'd like nothing better than to go to bed and sleep for days. Of course, that's when Arthur found her.

"It seems I owe you a bit of thanks. If it weren't for you I'd still have a troll for a step-mother."

"Well, if you had believed me earlier, then we could have done something about it sooner."

Arthur sighed but he didn't argue with her. Merlin smiled at her small bit of victory. After a moment, Arthur spoke again.

"There was a moment, though, where I was actually glad she was here."

Merlin's eyes widened.

"You can't be serious? What moment was that?"

Arthur stepped closer to her and brushed some of Merlin's dark hair behind her ear.

"The one where my father disinherited me. As a prince I have duties and obligations; certain things are expected of me. Without my title, I would be a free man." he whispered.

Merlin leaned into his touch for a moment, but then she came back to her senses.

"Being free isn't all it's cracked up to be. You'd hate it."

"Merlin…"

"Don't, Arthur. You _are_ a prince, so there's no use thinking about what might happen if you weren't."

Arthur dropped his hand and let it fall back to his side. Merlin stepped away from him and gave him an apologetic smile.

"You were born to be a leader, Arthur. It's your destiny."

Arthur gazed at her for a moment, and then he said, "Sometimes I think I know you, Merlin, but other times I can't help but feel like you're a stranger to me."

"Well, I know you. You're a prat, and a royal one."

Arthur laughed and shook his head.

"Are you ever going to change?"

"No. You'd get bored."

Arthur returned her smile as he said, "Yes, I suppose I would."

/

The next month, Merlin got careless and used her magic out in the woods. That brought the witchfinder to Camelot and nearly cost Gaius his life. He was saved though, and it was the witchfinder himself who was killed for his troubles. The next danger to come to the city, and Merlin had been waiting for it, came in the form of a woman named Morgause who beat Arthur in a challenge. She spared his life as long as he gave his word that he would come to her in three days time. He swore and then she left. Merlin had an uneasy feeling about it, so when Arthur set off, Merlin followed.

"You shouldn't have come, Merlin. I don't know what Morgause is going to challenge me to do. It could be dangerous." he said.

"That's exactly why I _am_ coming. Sometimes you're too honorable for your own good, and I'm not about to let you die because of it."

They came to a crossroads and Arthur's horse set out on the opposite path than the one in which Arthur had intended to go.

"Where are you going?" Merlin called.

"It's not me, it's the horse. Morgause said that the path would reveal itself to me when the time came."

Merlin steered her horse after Arthur and when she caught up she said, "So, we're following the direction of a horse? This is even stupider than I originally though."

"Shut up, Merlin."

They finally managed to find Morgause, and when Arthur passed her test, she said she would show him his mother. Merlin witnessed everything and when she saw Arthur cry at the sight of the woman he had before only dreamed about, she felt her heart clench in her chest. Her heart was soon filled with anger at the late queen's words that it was Uther who was responsible for her death because he had used magic to conceive Arthur. Her anger was matched by Arthur's own fury, and when they got back to Camelot he nearly killed his father in a fit of rage. Merlin stopped him, and life quickly went back to normal, but sometimes Merlin would catch Arthur looking out his window and whispering his mother's name. At those moments, she left him alone.

/

When Freya, a druid girl, was brought to Camelot chained and caged like an animal, Merlin couldn't sit by. She freed the girl and tried to get her out of Camelot, but Freya was killed for the curse that she bore through no fault of her own. Her death hit Merlin hard, and Arthur noticed.

"Something's been upsetting you." he said when he caught her one afternoon cleaning his boots. He sat next to her and waited for her to speak.

"Maybe." she finally mumbled.

"Are you going to tell me what it is?"

Merlin shook her head. There was no way she could tell Arthur that she had seen herself in Freya. It would have been so easy for their roles to have been reversed. When Freya was killed, it was as if a part of Merlin had been slain with her.

"I can't help you if you don't talk to me." Arthur said. Merlin finally looked at him.

"I don't need your help. Just leave me alone."

Arthur shook his head and took the boot and cloth from her hands.

"I'm afraid I can't do that. You see, if I leave you alone you're just going to continue to mope about and look heartbroken. I can't have that."

"Why not? What's it matter to you?"

Arthur's gaze softened.

"It matters because I can't focus knowing that you're up here looking like you're about to cry at any minute."

Merlin shook her head.

"Well I'm so sorry to be such a burden to you, my lord. I'll just turn off my emotions and never feel anything ever again, shall I?"

Arthur laughed.

"Stop being dramatic. You're not a burden. An idiot and the worst servant Camelot's ever had, but not a burden. I just want to know that you'll be alright."

Merlin looked at him and saw the desperation in his eyes. He was really worried about her. She gave him a small smile to ease his mind.

"I'll be fine. I just, I need some time."

"Then take it." Arthur said as he stood up. He didn't say anything else as he left his room and left Merlin staring after him.

/

The peace talks with the five kings meant that Arthur was busier than ever with affairs of state and entertaining dignitaries. It was just the distraction Merlin needed to pull herself from the depths of grief she felt over the loss of Freya. Of course, she found herself right back in them when she saw how besotted Arthur was with King Olaf's daughter Vivian. It helped that she learned it was all an enchantment, but still, the sight of Arthur passionately kissing Vivian and declaring that he loved her with all his heart had her on the brink of tears. King Olaf challenged Arthur to a fight to the death over his tainted honor, and Arthur, the stupid boy that he was, accepted. Merlin had to find a way to break the enchantment, and she had to find it fast. When Arthur barely got through the first round of the duel, Merlin found herself sprinting to the dragon.

"I need your help!" she called into the cavern.

The dragon swept in with his usual flourish and said, "Of course you do, young witch. Otherwise you would not be here."

"How do I break the enchantment on Arthur? If I don't then Olaf will kill him in the ring."

"The enchantment has captured his heart. There is no magic than can break it."

Merlin's breath left her.

"There must be! I can't let him die!"

"You won't have to. The solution lies in the greatest force on earth."

"Which is?" Merlin asked.

"Love. Find the person that Arthur truly loves and one kiss from them will break the enchantment."

Merlin screamed.

"How am I supposed to know whom he truly loves?"

The dragon laughed.

"It's simple, young witch. Who has Arthur defied his father for? Who has he risked his life for? Who is the one person who he worries about most? Look inside yourself and you will discover the answer."

Merlin shook her head. There was only one person who fit the dragon's description, but Merlin could scarcely dare to hope that the person was Arthur's true love. Even so, she was running out of time. Instead of second-guessing herself, she put all her energy into reaching Arthur. By the time she got back to his tent, the second round had already finished. Merlin threw the flap aside and stormed in.

"Ah, Merlin, come to wish me luck in the final round? I really don't think I'll need it."

Merlin shook her head.

"No, I have not come to wish you luck."

She steeled herself and then pushed Arthur against one of the tent supports and kissed him. For a frightening second she thought that she'd got it wrong, but then Arthur kissed her back and Merlin found that she couldn't think at all. The prince wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss. Merlin welcomed it and for a moment she forgot where they were. When she remembered she pulled back. Arthur looked at her before the pain of his injuries hit him. When it did he winced and asked, "What's going on?"

"You're in a fight to the death, and you're losing." Merlin told him. He looked at her with widened eyes.

"What? Why?"

Merlin shook her head.

"There isn't time to explain. Just promise me that you'll survive this."

"Merlin, I…"

"Promise me!" she pressed. Arthur nodded. Merlin helped him back into his armor. Before he stepped out into the ring he turned toward her.

"If anything happens to me…"

Merlin cut him off with, "Nope, save your goodbyes for some other time. You're going to be fine."

Arthur gave her a smile and then took up his sword.

/

After Arthur won and the other kings, including Lady Vivian, left for home, Merlin came to his chambers.

"I was wondering if I was going to have to seek you out, but I'm glad you saved me the trouble." Arthur said when he saw her. Merlin walked over to where he was looking out the window.

"I figured you'd like an explanation for the events of the last several days."

"Yes, that would be very helpful."

Merlin wrung her hands together. She'd never been nervous around Arthur, but now she could barely speak.

"Well, Trickler enchanted you and Lady Vivian so that you would fall in love. King Alined thought that it would cause trouble and end the peace talks if you and Vivian were to become enamored with each other. He was right. When King Olaf caught you with his daughter, he challenged you to a fight to the death. You accepted, because you're a prat and you never turn down a challenge, but because you were enchanted you didn't have a clear head in the fight. That's why you lost the first two rounds. I managed to break the enchantment on you before the last round, and well, you know the rest."

Arthur stood quietly for a moment as he digested the information. Finally he asked, "Why would Alined want to end the peace talks?"

Merlin smiled.

"I guess he thought that peace sounded too boring."

Arthur laughed and then grabbed his side when the action disrupted his broken rib. Merlin immediately came over and put a hand on his back to help steady him.

"Are you alright?" she asked in a concerned whisper.

"Yeah, just fine." Arthur said through grit teeth. Merlin helped him to his chair and then knelt at his feet to look at his wound.

"It still seems to be healing well. I suspect it'll hurt for a few weeks though."

"Thank you, Merlin, for stating the obvious."

Merlin laughed and stood up.

"I should let you get some rest."

Arthur grabbed her hand to stop her from leaving.

"I need to apologize to you. I'm sure these last few days weren't easy for you."

Merlin looked down at their joined hands and felt a blush spread across her cheeks.

"I'm fine. You have nothing to apologize for."

Arthur used his other hand to tilt her head up so that he could look in her eyes.

"You must believe that any feelings I had for Vivian were not real."

"I know that."

Arthur nodded.

"Good."

He brushed his knuckles over her cheek and then said, "I've never loved another."

Merlin felt her legs turn to jelly and it took all of her willpower to remain standing.

"I'm not a princess, Arthur. One day you will be king, and I can't be your queen."

Arthur shook his head.

"You don't know that."

Merlin drew her hand from Arthur's and said, "I'm sure of it."

"Things may change." Arthur pressed.

Merlin stepped back.

"Well, until they do, goodnight, my lord."

Merlin left without looking back.

/

The next two months Merlin watched as Morgana slipped farther and farther away. Ever since Merlin had taken her to the druids something had been different about her, and now it seemed that she had made a decision about something that Merlin wasn't sure she wanted to know about. When the Crystal of Neahtid was stolen, she felt that Morgana had a hand in it. The Crystal was retrieved, and a man arrested for its theft, but he managed to escape. It was obvious he had help and Merlin watched as Uther looked right at Morgana when he said that if he ever discovered who had helped the man they would rue the day they were born. At that moment, her fears were confirmed; Morgana was no longer to be trusted. That was why when the Knights of Medhir attacked the city Merlin found the strength to poison Morgana to end the spell keeping everyone asleep. The girl was not a friend to Merlin or Camelot anymore.

/

Merlin herself didn't prove to be much of a friend to Camelot either when she released the dragon. She'd promised him on her mother's life that she would one day free him, but she wished that she'd never followed through on her word as she watched the city burn. Merlin had never been filled with so much guilt. That was why when Arthur set off to find the last Dragonlord Merlin went with him. She had to do whatever she could to make this right. Gaius took her aside before she left to tell her that the last Dragonlord, Balinor, was actually her father. That only fueled the need to find him all the more. She'd never met her father, hadn't even known his name up until then, and she was determined to meet him now. She and Arthur set off for his last known location carrying as little as they could.

/

The rain was coming down in sheets and Merlin was soaked through and frozen by the time they reached the inn. Arthur took care of their horses and then led her into the building. As soon as they entered all eyes were on them. Arthur just smiled and made his way to a table with Merlin close behind him.

"Do you think one of these men is Balinor?" Merlin asked him after they'd sat down.

Arthur looked around and said, "I certainly hope not."

"So do I." Merlin mumbled.

They each had a drink and then Arthur asked if the man who ran the place knew anyone named Balinor. The barkeep said he'd never heard of someone with that name. Arthur sighed, but took him at his word.

"We'll be needing a room for the night, if that's not too much trouble." he said before the man could walk away. He looked between Arthur and Merlin and then shook his head.

"I run an honest place. Take your whore and bed her somewhere else."

Merlin felt her eyes grow huge, but Arthur was offended for the both of them.

"She is no _whore_. She is my wife and I'll not stand for you to speak about her in such a lewd manner. Now, will you give us a room or should I take my business elsewhere?"

The man looked somewhat apologetic and nodded towards the staircase at the back of the room.

"Take the last one on the left. It's the nicest one I've got."

Arthur nodded and then took Merlin's hand. He didn't release her until he'd shut the door to the room. When he turned around he ran straight into Merlin's back.

"What are you doing? Don't stand in the doorway!"

Merlin turned back to him and said, "Do you see something wrong with this picture?"

She gestured to the room and Arthur looked around. He didn't see what she was talking about.

"No."

Merlin sighed.

"The bed, Arthur. There's only _one_ of them."

Arthur looked and saw that Merlin was correct.

"Huh, usually inns have two beds to a room."

"Well, maybe this has something to do with you telling the man down there that I was your _wife._"

Arthur laughed.

"Would you rather I have let him think you were my whore?"

"No, but now what do we do?"

Arthur sighed.

"Simple, you take the bed and I'll take the floor."

Merlin's eyes widened and then she shook her head.

"No way are you sleeping on the floor when your shoulder is still injured. _You_ take the bed and _I'll_ take the floor."

"_Mer_lin, for once, don't be an idiot. You don't have to sleep on the floor when there is a perfectly good bed that I'm offering you."

"_Ar_thur, for once, don't be a noble prat. I spent the first eighteen years of my life sleeping on a floor. It doesn't bother me in the slightest."

Arthur moved further into the room and grabbed on of the pillows.

"I'll not listen to this. You're taking the bed, Merlin, and that's the end of it."

Merlin moved to the other side of the bed and said, "Fine, but only if you share with me."

Arthur spluttered and Merlin smiled when she saw the blush covering his cheeks.

"That's hardly appropriate."

Merlin's smile turned into a smirk when she said, "I don't see the problem, _dear husband._ Besides, it's plenty big enough for the both of us."

Arthur looked like he wanted to argue some more, but Merlin was tired and she didn't want to hear it. She climbed onto the bed and then pulled him down with her. He stood right back up though.

"Merlin! We're soaking wet!"

Merlin sighed and crawled off the bed and over to their packs. She drew out his nightclothes and her own. Tossing his over to him she walked behind the small screen set up in the corner and began undressing. She heard Arthur doing the same and when she came back out he was dressed and ready for bed.

"Any more complaints?" Merlin asked as she climbed back into the bed. Arthur just looked at her as she pulled the cover over herself and then sighed. He got in the other side and blew out the candle.

"I shouldn't have let you talk me into this." he said into the darkness a few moments later.

"Don't worry, Arthur. I trust you not to take advantage of me and steal my virtue."

She heard what sounded like Arthur choking on his own spit and tried to contain her laughter.

"I would _not_ do such a thing."

Merlin smiled into her pillow.

"I know. Now, get some sleep before you give yourself a headache."

/

The first time Merlin woke up, it was to find Arthur holding a man at knifepoint across the foot of the bed. From this would-be burglar, they learned the location of a cave where Balinor supposedly lived. After Arthur let him go and barred the door with something he found in the room, they both went back to sleep. The next time Merlin woke up, it was to find herself wrapped rather intimately around Arthur. Her head was tucked under his chin, his arms were securely around her, and their legs were intertwined. She tried not to think about how perfectly they fit together as she removed herself from his embrace.

/

They managed to find Balinor and convince him to come back to Camelot with them. Merlin even found time to tell him that she was his daughter. Everything seemed to be going well, until they were attacked. Balinor sacrificed himself to save Merlin, and before she could even get to know her father, he was being taken from her.

"Father, please, no." she begged as she pressed her hand to the wound in his stomach.

"Merlin, listen to me. The power of the Dragonlord is passed from father to son. I know that you are not my son, but my blood still runs through your veins. You will not receive my gift when I die, but your soul is still kin to Kilgharrah's because of your magic. Reason with him as kin, and he should listen to you."

"But, Father…"

"Believe in yourself, Merlin. Believe in yourself as I believe in you."

He faded into the blackness of eternity and Arthur and Merlin had no choice but to return to Camelot alone.

/

Merlin put Arthur's armor on like she had a million times before, but this time there was a sense of finality in the air. Arthur and his knights were going to ride out of the city and engage the dragon on level ground. It was a suicide mission.

"You must be careful out there. Do not force the battle."

"Yes, my lady!"

"I'm serious."

"I can hear that." Arthur said as he turned to face her. He placed his hand on the side of her neck.

"Merlin, if I die, please don't cry for me. There's something wholly unnatural about you crying. You should only ever smile."

Merlin stepped closer to him and tucked her head beneath his chin. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. When he pulled away and picked up his sword, Merlin drew one as well.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm coming with you."

Arthur shook his head and tried to take the sword from her, but she wouldn't let him.

"Merlin, there is no way I'm letting you go out there with me. Chances are that I'm going to die and I'm not letting you die too."

"I'm not going to sit here while you go and risk your life yet again. I _can't_, Arthur. Don't ask me to."

Arthur gave her an incredulous look.

"You're really going to face this dragon with me? You'd go out there knowing that you'd likely die?"

"Yes. I'll follow you anywhere, Arthur, and if that means following you to my death then so be it. I've stayed behind while you've gone on dangerous missions before, but I absolutely will not do it this time. If you're going, I'm going and if you die, then I'll die right beside you."

Arthur shook his head.

"You are the most idiot person I've ever met, but you're also one of the bravest."

/

When Merlin stood before Kilgharrah after all the knights had been knocked out, she knew that the chances of him listening to her were slim. Even so, she had to try.

"Kilgharrah! I'm begging you, please stop this! You're killing innocent people."

"You have no power over me, young witch."

"I know that. I am no Dragonlord, but I am still your kin. The magic that runs in my veins is kin to the magic that runs in yours. You are the last of your kind, and I am part of a dying race. Please don't bring about the destruction of us both. You've got your freedom. Use it to leave this place. I'm begging you."

"Why should I listen to your pleas? I have not yet made Uther Pendragon suffer as he should for what he's done to my race and me."

Merlin fell to her knees before the Great Dragon and extended her arms.

"Believe me, he has suffered. Everyone in Camelot has suffered because of what you've done. You've taken husbands from their wives, children from their mothers; families have been torn apart because of what you've done. If you still need to kill someone the appease yourself, then kill me."

Kilgharrah cocked his head to the side.

"You would sacrifice yourself for the kingdom and the king that would execute you without a second thought if they but knew who you truly were?"

"Yes. I don't condone what Uther does to our kind, but Camelot is my home. I will do whatever it takes to protect it, even if it costs me my life."

Merlin bowed her head and waited for Kilgharrah to end her life. After a few moments she glanced up and saw him contemplating her.

"Very well, I will do as you ask. I will leave this place, but I will not forget what you have done here, young witch. You have shown true courage, and one day I will reward you for it."

He spread his wings and propelled himself into the air as Merlin watched in disbelief. She'd done it. The Great Dragon had just disappeared into the night sky when Merlin heard Arthur groaning. She crawled toward him and was at his side when he opened his eyes.

"What happened?" he asked her.

"The dragon is gone."

Arthur sat up and looked around. When he saw that the clearing was indeed empty he turned back to her and started laughing.

"It's really gone?"

Merlin smiled and nodded. Arthur laughed again and then drew her close so that he could kiss her. Merlin melted into his kiss and tilted her head so that he could deepen it. She licked his bottom lip, and surprised at her forwardness, he opened his mouth to her. He tasted like sweat and the wine he'd drunk to calm his nerves before riding out. Merlin thought that she could kiss him forever, but he eventually pulled away from her.

"I'm glad you're here, Merlin."

"There's no where else I'd rather be."

Arthur kissed her again and then helped her up. They made their way back to Camelot grinning in victory. That was how Merlin's second year in the city came to an end.


	3. Year Three

A/N: Well, here it is, the next chapter. I had a lot of fun writing this one because it takes place in the year that we never saw on the show. Also, this chapter is one of the reasons this story is rated M, so be warned. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it, and as always, feel free to review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

/

For weeks everyone in Camelot was focused on rebuilding the city, at least during daylight hours. Once the sun set, the grief for those who had died in the dragon's attack set in. Arthur personally went to offer his condolences to the families of the knights who had lost their lives defending the kingdom. Merlin too grieved for the dead, only she grieved for all of them. Uther let one month pass in this way, and then he called for Arthur.

"My father wants me to get search parties organized." he said when he'd come back from his meeting. Merlin, who had been previously stripping the bed linens, left her work to stand before him.

"What are you searching for?" she asked as she reached for the cup of water on the table and handed it to him.

"Not what, who. We're to set out in search of Morgana. My father is convinced that she's alive and he won't rest until she's back. He said he'd been trying to make arrangements as soon as she disappeared, but then the dragon began attacking and that had to be dealt with first. Now that there's no longer any danger, she's all he can think about."

Merlin's breath left her in a rush. Morgana was someone she tried desperately not to think about. When she did, she could still see the girl she had once called friend gasping for air as the poison Merlin gave her took effect.

"And how long will you be out searching for her?"

Arthur stepped around her and made his way to the window.

"Until she's found. The first party is to leave two days from now. We're to ride out to the northern border and then work our way back to the city combing through all the villages and towns. I've been given strict orders to search everywhere; to follow any and all leads no matter how small they may be."

Merlin took a few steps toward Arthur and then stopped.

"That could take weeks! I'm guessing that after the north has been searched you'll also have to go to the south, east, and west."

Arthur turned and said, "Yes. I suspect I'll be spending very little time in the city until we find Morgana. My father wants her brought home, dead or alive."

Merlin didn't like this. She didn't like this one bit. Wherever Morgana was, it wasn't anywhere that Arthur should be.

"What if you never find her?" Merlin asked in a whisper.

Arthur turned back to stare out the window. After a moment he said, "That's not an option for my father."

/

Merlin spent the next day preparing supplies. Arthur spent most of it discussing the search route with his father and others that would be joining him. Uther had decided that there should be two parties, one to go to the north and one to go to the south. Arthur would go north and Sir Leon would lead the party to the south. Between running back and forth between the kitchen and the stables, Merlin had come up with a good excuse why she should be allowed to accompany Arthur and the knights. The only thing left to do was to convince Arthur.

"No. Absolutely not." he said after she insisted that she should go with him.

"Hear me out!"

Arthur just shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest.

"No. There's nothing you could say to convince me to let you come along. I've let you risk your life in dangerous situations far too many times already, and I won't do it again. Besides, I'll be gone for weeks and…"

"But that's exactly why I should go! You'll be gone for such a long time and you'll be so far away from any good amenities that it would be foolish to leave me behind."

Arthur cocked his head to the side and gave her his you're-a-complete-and-total-idiot-and-I-have-no-idea-what-you're-talking-about glare. Merlin just sighed.

"I'm not just your servant, you know. I'm the physician's assistant too. Gaius has been training me on how to tend to the sick and injured since I came here. Since you're going to be gone so long it would be wise to bring someone along who has more than just basic first-aid knowledge."

Arthur considered her for a moment. Merlin could see him reasoning out what she had said against his need to keep her safe. Eventually, reason won out because he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"I want to talk to Gaius about this. If he says that you have enough knowledge to be of real help to us then I suppose I'll have to concede your point. We're bound to be attacked at some point, and it _would_ be good to have someone with us who knows more than just how to tie a bandage."

Merlin smiled in victory. When Arthur saw her expression he stepped closer and said, "Don't look so pleased. I _really_ don't like the thought of letting you jump headfirst into danger _again_."

Merlin cupped his cheek.

"Well, I _really_ don't like the thought of not seeing you for weeks."

Arthur took her hand from his cheek and kissed it.

"I don't like the thought of it either, but it's better than having to worry about your safety all the time."

"Arthur, the safest place in the world for me is by your side. When are you going to realize that?"

He smiled.

"Maybe tomorrow."

/

Gaius, the wonderful man that he was, backed up Merlin's story that she could be of use to Arthur, and he was forced to let her come along. So, the next morning, just as the sun was rising, Merlin rode out of Camelot next to Arthur. If any of the knights thought it strange that the prince was bringing his female servant on their venture, they kept silent. Honestly, everyone in Camelot had grown used to the pair being mostly inseparable.

/

After a week on horseback Merlin was starting to think that maybe it would have been better if she'd listened to Arthur and stayed in Camelot. It would have definitely been more comfortable. When they finally stopped to make camp for the night she slipped off her horse with a wince.

"Sore?" Arthur asked her. She turned to glare at him, but it only made him laugh.

"I told you that you shouldn't have come along."

Merlin reached to untie their bags and tossed them at his feet.

"As if you don't enjoy my company. Admit it, if it weren't for me you'd be dying of boredom."

Arthur just laughed again as she took his reins along with hers and led the horses over where the others were being tied up. When she got back she was surprised to see that Arthur had started a fire.

"Get the bedrolls laid out. I'm going hunting with a few of the knights. Try and keep yourself out of trouble while I'm gone."

"I'll do my best, _Sire_."

"See that you do, _Mer_lin."

/

Merlin sighed in contentment later that night as she lay down to go to sleep. Her belly was full and the night was cool, but had not yet taken on the crispness of autumn. Around her she listened to the familiar sounds of men settling down for the night and arguing over who would take first watch. She watched as Arthur walked over and grabbed his sword.

"Watch duty?" she asked him with a yawn.

"Yes. Get some sleep."

Merlin nodded and snuggled under her blanket. She was asleep mere moments later.

/

Merlin slowly became aware that someone was running their fingers through her hair. She didn't have to open her eyes to know it was Arthur.

"What are you doing?" she mumbled. The fingers froze and then retreated from her hair. It made her whimper and Arthur huffed out a soft laugh. He resumed his action and Merlin smiled.

"I didn't mean to wake you." he whispered.

"It's alright."

Merlin opened her eyes and looked around them.

"Everyone's asleep. It's nearly dawn."

Merlin frowned.

"You kept watch all night?"

Arthur shook his head.

"My shift ended at midnight. I slept for a few hours but you were making noise in your sleep; it woke me up. You sounded like you were having a nightmare."

Merlin couldn't remember her dream, but she blushed all the same.

"Oh. I'm sorry for waking you up."

"It's fine. Besides, it gave me an excuse to be close to you."

Merlin leaned more into his touch. It had been far too long since he'd had a legitimate excuse to touch her. They had to keep up appearances with so many people around. It wouldn't do for the prince to be seen with a servant.

"I like when you leave your hair undone." Arthur whispered.

"It's more of a hassle that way. It's much easier to keep it in a braid or a bun."

"I'm sure it is, but I like it down all the same."

Merlin smirked.

"Are you going to start telling me how to keep my hair now?"

Arthur smiled but shook his head.

"Of course not. I was merely stating my opinion."

"Oh. In that case, I'll ignore it just like I do with all your other opinions."

Arthur's smile grew as he leaned closer to her.

"You really are the worst servant I've ever had." he breathed against her lips.

"That may be, but you wouldn't have me any other way." she said before he kissed her.

/

The next night they stopped not far from a river and Merlin was positively shaking with excitement at the thought of a bath. It had been five days sense her last rushed washing in a little creek and she wanted nothing more than to submerge herself in the water. Arthur saw her eagerness and smiled.

"You look like a fool." he said.

"I don't care. When you smell as bad as I know I do, then the idea of getting clean is enough to make you a little mad with joy."

Arthur shook his head, but he held out his hand for her reins.

"Then go. I'll keep the men here until you get back, but you're not the only one who is looking forward to a good wash, so don't take too long."

Merlin gave him a blinding smile. She grabbed her pack and practically ran to the river. When she got there she stripped out of her filthy dress and waded into the water. It was nearly freezing, but Merlin didn't care. She held her little bar of soap tightly and scrubbed herself with it before letting her hair down and giving it an equally thorough washing. Once she herself was clean, she returned to the bank. She took her dirty clothes and gave them a quick scrub to get the dirt and smell out. Finally, she slipped on a clean dress and tied her hair back into a bun. Carting everything back to camp, she couldn't help the happy sigh that escaped her lips.

"Feel better?" Arthur asked when he saw her emerge from the trees.

"You have no idea."

"Good. Watch the camp while the rest of us bathe. Yell if something happens." he said as he thrust his sword into her hands after she'd set down her things and hung up her wet clothes on some low-hanging branches.

"Fine."

Arthur leveled her with a hard glare.

"I mean it."

Merlin looked around, and when she saw that no one was watching, she quickly pressed her lips to Arthur's.

"I know. Now, go. You smell revolting."

Arthur gave her an offended look, but didn't argue.

/

Days began to meld into each other. The only time the routine changed was when they came upon a town. When that happened everyone would search it and ask about Morgana or any suspicious happenings. Merlin always saw the fear on every face of the townspeople. Most people had never seen such a large armed group before, so it was no wonder they were frightened and confused. Of course, nothing ever turned up that led them any closer to finding the king's ward. Merlin could see that Arthur was growing frustrated, but she could do nothing for him.

/

They'd been traveling for just over a month and the nights were becoming steadily colder. The men had begun setting up tents to sleep in at night, but Merlin didn't have one so she slept outside next to the fire. Arthur gave her his fur-lined blanket to make sure she didn't freeze. On the coldest night yet, Arthur made his way back to his tent wanting nothing more than to crawl into the warmth of his blankets and sleep, but he stopped at the sight of Merlin awake and stoking the fire.

"Merlin?" he asked. She whirled around at the sound of his voice.

"You scared me!" she whispered harshly. Arthur smiled apologetically and sat next to her.

"What are you doing awake?"

Merlin glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and then went back to stoking the fire.

"I was just thinking."

"That's a dangerous activity for you."

She bumped him with her shoulder, but she couldn't stop the small smile from spreading across her lips.

"What are you thinking about?" Arthur asked her after a moment.

Merlin leaned back and looked up at the stars.

"Today is my twenty-first birthday. I was thinking about the celebrations that would happen today if I had stayed in Ealdor."

When Merlin turned to look at Arthur she laughed at his expression. It was a mixture of shame and curiosity.

"Why did you never tell me when your birthday was?"

Merlin bumped his shoulder again as she said, "Because you never asked, you prat. Besides, I never really thought it was something worth mentioning."

"I do." Arthur pressed.

"Well, now you know when it is."

They were silent for a moment and the only sound between them was the crackling of the fire. Finally, Arthur asked, "What would happen today if you were still in Ealdor?"

Merlin smiled.

"Well, usually when it's someone's birthday people just come by and wish them well for the next year, but twenty-first birthdays are special. Since the person is officially of age a big celebration is held. At night there's a feast and a bonfire with singing and dancing. It's a night of fun and laughter."

Arthur nodded.

"It sounds that way. My own twenty-first birthday was a bit of a debacle."

Merlin laughed quietly.

"I remember. The ceremony where you were named Crown Prince of Camelot was nice, but the rest left much to be desired."

Arthur smirked.

"Yes, well, that tends to happen when uninvited people show up and issue a challenge for a fight to the death. But tell me more about what happens in Ealdor."

Merlin looked back up at the stars and smiled.

"Well, the person whose birthday it is gets woken up at dawn and gets paraded around the village. The family of the person lifts them up onto their shoulders or makes a sling to carry them in. They yell and shout and eventually everyone in the village joins them. When the group gets back to the person's house they form a receiving line and everyone gives them good wishes. The day is spent with everyone preparing for the feast and gathering wood for the bonfire. At sunset all the food is put out and the feast begins with the lighting of the bonfire, which is done by the one who is coming of age."

"Are you disappointed that you won't get to experience that?"

Merlin looked back at Arthur and shook her head.

"Not really. There was a time, before I came to Camelot, where I looked forward to it, but not anymore."

"Why not?"

Merlin looked down and shuffled her feet in the dirt.

"Will wouldn't be there." she whispered. She felt Arthur stiffen next to her.

"You loved him." It wasn't a question.

Merlin looked up and met his gaze.

"Yes. He was my best friend, my only friend growing up. We were always together. When I told him that I was leaving to go to Camelot he didn't take it well. He yelled at me saying that there was no reason for me to leave Ealdor. I told him that I had my reasons, but he didn't want to listen. He got down on one knee and proposed to me in an effort to keep me. It broke my heart, but I turned him down. He was so angry. He told me that he wouldn't see me off, that he never wanted to see me again. Of course, the next day he ran after me. I knew he would. Neither of us could stay angry with each other for long."

Arthur was quiet for so long that Merlin wondered if he was just going to leave without saying anything, but then he finally turned to look at the fire and asked, "What were your reasons for leaving? If you loved him, why'd you turn him down?"

"I just didn't fit in there anymore. I wouldn't have been happy if I had stayed. My mother knew that and that's why she wrote to Gaius and asked him if I could live with him. She knew that Ealdor was too small for me. As for why I turned Will down, I couldn't be what he needed. I loved him, but not the way a wife is supposed to love her husband. He deserved better than that."

"Have you found the place that you _do_ fit in?" Arthur asked as he turned to look at her again.

Merlin smiled and leaned her forehead against his.

"Yes."

Arthur cupped her cheek.

"And are you happy?"

"Yes."

Arthur closed the distance between them in a sweet kiss. It was lingering and full of affection. When he pulled away he brushed some stray strands of hair behind her ear and whispered, "Happy birthday, Merlin."

/

A week and a half later the castle came into view on the horizon. Everyone in the company breathed a happy sigh at the sight. When they reached the city that night no one was more glad to be home than Merlin. Gaius greeted her with a warm embrace and Gwen lightly kissed her cheek.

"Good to have you back, my girl." Gaius said with a smile.

"Yes. We've both been worried." Gwen added.

Merlin laughed.

"I'm no worse for wear, though I could do with a bath and a hot meal."

Gaius laughed.

"The meal I've got. The bath I'll draw while you go and put your things down."

Gwen gave her another hug and then followed Gaius while Merlin went to get her and Arthur's horses situated in the stable. Once they were unloaded, brushed down, and given fresh hay, Merlin grabbed her pack and wearily walked to her room. When she entered she smiled at the sight of the bath.

"Give me your laundry after you finish washing. Once you're clean you can have your dinner."

Merlin kissed Gaius on the cheek.

"Have I told you that you are the most wonderful guardian ever?"

"No, but the flattery might get you an extra helping. Now go before the water gets cold."

Merlin took her time scrubbing away all the dirt and grime from her travels. By the time she was done her skin was flushed and she felt more human than she had in days. The dinner Gaius set before was a far cry from the wild plants and game she'd been eating and she nearly cried when she took a bite of the bread. She'd just swallowed her last bite when there was a knock at the door.

"Prince Arthur requires your services in his chambers." the servant boy told her when she'd opened it.

"At this hour?" Gaius asked with a raised eyebrow. Merlin just shrugged.

"He's probably going to give me his armor to clean and his sword to sharpen." she said before she set off for Arthur's room. When she got there she entered without knocking. Arthur was standing in front of the fire. He turned toward her when he heard the door open.

"Shut the door." he said. Merlin did as he asked and then walked over to him. When she got close she saw that he'd also bathed and changed his clothes.

"You called for me?" she asked.

"I did."

Merlin didn't even have time to smile before Arthur wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply. Merlin moaned and welcomed his tongue into her mouth. When they had to break for air Arthur reached around her head and pulled her hair out of the bun Merlin had put it in.

"We're finally alone without the prying eyes of two-dozen men." he whispered against her lips. Merlin smirked.

"So we are."

She fisted the front of his tunic and pulled him into another kiss. He ran his fingers through her hair and she moaned when he began to scratch her scalp. Merlin felt him smirk against her lips. Well, two could play that game. She released his tunic and wound her arms around him. She dragged her nails down his back and reveled at the full-body shudder it earned her, but Arthur pushed her away and held her by her upper arms.

"You shouldn't play with fire, Merlin." he said in a voice that made Merlin's knees go weak.

"I should if I want to get burned." she gasped out. Arthur groaned and gently shook her.

"You can't _say_ things like that when I'm clutching desperately at my last reserves of self-control." he said through grit teeth.

Merlin cupped her hands around the back of his neck and said, "Why don't you just let go?"

Arthur drew her hands away and laced their fingers together.

"Believe me, I wish I could, but I can't. There's too much at risk. My father will not stand for having the Pendragon line tarnished with bastards. He made that very clear when I was twelve and he explained relations between a man and a woman to me."

Merlin sighed. Arthur was right; it would be foolish for them to lose control.

"I understand."

Arthur pressed one more chaste kiss to her lips and then leaned his forehead against hers.

"You should go." he whispered.

"That would probably be best." Merlin answered. It still took her fifteen minutes to leave.

/

Two days later the search party that had gone to the south returned to the city. They'd also had no luck finding Morgana. Uther ordered them to set out for the east and west in three days time. Merlin couldn't believe that they were to set out again so soon.

"We've only just returned!" Merlin exclaimed when Arthur told her.

"He doesn't care. My father wants Morgana found, and the longer we stay here the longer she's out there."

"I know, but surely he can give us a week."

Arthur shook his head.

"He won't. Of course, you are free to stay if the thought of leaving distresses you so much."

Merlin shook her head and pointed a finger at him.

"Don't even _think_ about trying to convince me to stay. I'm coming with you."

"Then be at the stables packed and ready at dawn in three days."

/

Once again, Merlin found herself getting used to sleeping on the ground, being cold all the time, eating whatever could be found, and the pain that came from days of nonstop riding. This new expedition was proving to be as fruitless as the last one had been. Every town and village they came to had no news of Morgana and the only rumor they heard ended up being a false lead. Merlin honestly didn't think they'd ever find the girl, but she couldn't tell Arthur that.

/

Winter began a month into their search. An icy wind blew during the day and the nights were bitterly cold. More than once, Arthur had wrapped his extra cloak around her while they rode just so he could stop hearing the chattering of her teeth for a little while. At least this time Merlin had a tent she could sleep in. She always set it up next to Arthur's, at his insistence, and it provided shelter from the wind. A simple spell kept it nice and warm, and Merlin found herself wishing the days away so that she could escape into the warmth of her tent. One night, however, she couldn't sleep. Instead of just staring up at the canvas, she pulled a thick blanket around herself and went to sit next to the fire. She'd only been sitting for a few moments before one of the guards sat next to her. She looked over at him and he smiled at her.

"It's cold out." he said.

Merlin nodded. She didn't know his name, he hadn't been on the last expedition, and she didn't really feel like talking.

"I can think of a few ways that we could both warm up." he whispered as he scooted closer to her. His meaning became obvious when he placed an arm over her shoulders and tried to draw her into his side. She pushed him away, but the action caused the blanket she was wrapped in to slip down her back and pool at her waist. Merlin gasped as the cold air pierced her thin sleeping shift.

"Oh come on, don't be that way. I'll make it good for you, I promise."

He once again tried to wrap his arm around her, but Merlin didn't let him. She stood up quickly and tried to back away, but she tripped on her blanket and fell. When she landed she let out a grunt of pain. The guard caught her ankle and then he loomed over her. She could feel the warmth of his thighs on either side of her hips.

"There's a good girl. It'll be easier if you're on your back."

He began to stroke her side, and that was when Merlin screamed, "Get off of me!"

The guard clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Shh! You'll wake up the whole camp!"

That was what Merlin wanted, so she bit his hand and he immediately drew it away. As soon as he did she screamed again.

"What the hell is going on here?" a voice demanded in a deathly whisper and Merlin felt relief rush through her. She watched in satisfaction as the guard's eyes widened in terror and he scrambled off of her.

"Your highness!"

Arthur took carefully measured steps toward them, but Merlin could see the way his muscles were tensed and she knew that he wanted nothing more than to draw his sword and run the guard through.

"I asked you a question." Arthur said in his same menacing tone.

"Nothing, Sire. It was nothing." he spluttered. Arthur shook his head.

"I know what it was, and it most certainly was _not_ nothing."

The guard was looking at Merlin, as if she was going to help him. He finally looked back at Arthur and bowed his head.

"I apologize, my lord."

Arthur extended a hand to Merlin and helped her off the ground. As soon as she was standing he pushed her behind him and then turned his gaze back to the guard.

"That's not good enough. Your actions are unforgivable and not those of a guard of Camelot. You are hereby stripped of your position. At first light you will take your things and ride back to Camelot. If I _ever_ hear that you've tried to force yourself on another woman you will be flogged within an inch of your life. Am I understood?"

"Yes, Sire."

"Good. Get out of my sight." Arthur ordered. The guard fled back to his tent without a moment's hesitation. When he was gone, Merlin placed her hand gently on Arthur's arm. He immediately whirled around and began dragging her back to his tent. Merlin had just enough time to grab her blanket from the ground before she was stumbling after him. Once they were inside Arthur turned to her and cupped her cheeks.

"Are you alright?" he asked her. She could clearly see the anger and desperation in his eyes.

"I'm fine. You got there before he could do anything to me."

Arthur shook his head.

"He _touched_ you. He had his _hands_ on you."

"I'm fine, Arthur." Merlin pressed, but Arthur didn't seem to hear her.

"I should have killed him. It would have been so easy."

Merlin wound her arms around his neck and shook her head.

"No, Arthur. It wouldn't have been right."

"Like it was right for him to think he could have you?"

"No, that wasn't right either, but two wrongs don't make a right. Besides, I'm fine. He didn't do anything, not really."

Arthur pulled her in for a harsh kiss.

"He did. No one touches you, Merlin." he breathed against her lips.

"Only you, Arthur" Merlin agreed.

"Yes. Only me." Arthur said before he kissed her again. Merlin spent that night wrapped in Arthur's arms.

/

The party returned to Camelot shortly after the snow began falling. This time, they were the second to arrive. Sir Leon's group had gotten there the day before them. They were still no closer to finding Morgana. At least this time Uther had no choice but to wait until the snow stopped to send them out again. For that, Merlin was grateful. For the first time in nearly five months she was able to spend a week in the castle. She fell back into her old duties of attending to Arthur and it felt good. Merlin walked into his chambers one evening with his dinner to see that he was still in the bath. She nearly dropped the tray in her surprise.

"Ah, good. I was just getting hungry." Arthur said completely at ease. Merlin was blushing to the tips of her ears as she set the tray on the table.

"I thought you'd be finished bathing by now. I'll give you some privacy." she said quickly, but Arthur just laughed and extended a hand to her.

"I'm done. I was just about to get out when you came in."

Merlin reached for his towel and placed it in his outstretched hand. She couldn't stop herself from glancing at his naked body. She'd seen his chest and back many times, of course. The rest of him, however, was always hidden to her. The temptation to take even the quickest of glances was too much. Arthur took his towel and Merlin turned her back as he stood up and dried off. She heard him step out of the tub and then she felt him wrap his arms around her from behind.

"Did you see something you liked?" he asked into her ear. Merlin shivered.

"Maybe, but I wouldn't want to inflate your ego by telling you."

Arthur laughed and nipped her neck. Merlin gasped and turned in his arms. He had the towel wrapped low around his hips and Merlin sighed. She placed her hands flat on his chest and then began to trail her fingers over his skin. Arthur let her for a few minutes, but then she traced his nipples and he groaned. He pulled her flush against him and kissed her thoroughly. Merlin kissed him back and gasped when she felt his hardness pressed against her. The feeling sent liquid heat straight to the juncture of her legs and she just _had_ to feel his hands on her. Merlin pushed him back and then moved one of his hands from her hip and pressed it to her breast.

"Touch me, Arthur. Please." she gasped. Arthur's eyes were dilated and filled with a hunger that Merlin knew was matched in her own gaze. Even so, Arthur was trying to fight it.

"I shouldn't. We _can't_, Merlin. Not yet."

"I know, but I need to feel you against my skin. _Please_." Merlin begged. Arthur tried to resist, but he simply couldn't. He swept her into his arms and carried her to his bed. He placed her head on one of the pillows and then climbed over her.

"I can't have you yet, Merlin, but I can touch you if that's what you want."

"It is. It's what I want."

Arthur nodded and Merlin spread her legs so that he could settle into the cradle of her hips. He ran careful hands up her legs and pushed her skirt up in the process. Merlin tried to memorize the feel of his callused fingers on the sensitive flesh of her thighs. It was perfect. While he pushed up her skirt, she went to work unlacing her bodice so that he could lift her dress over her head. As soon as it hit the floor, Merlin reached for his towel and pulled it away from him. The sound of the fabric hitting stone seemed to echo in the room as both Merlin and Arthur had frozen. Arthur looked down at Merlin and drank in the sight of her. Her pale skin was flushed from arousal and he knew that he'd never seen anything more beautiful. While Arthur was looking at her, Merlin was also looking at him. Every inch of him was golden and muscled. She could barely believe that this beautiful man desired her. He was perfection in every sense of the word.

"God, Merlin." Arthur breathed, breaking the silence. They both moved at once and in seconds they were pressed together skin to skin. Eyes roamed, lips trailed, and hands explored. Merlin loved the sound Arthur made when her hand first closed around his cock. She ran her fingers over the velvety skin and measured the weight and width of it while Arthur tried to keep himself from coming apart above her. He didn't last long. Merlin watched mesmerized as he tensed and then came in white bands over her stomach. Before he could catch his breath from his orgasm, he ran his fingers over her slick opening and she nearly screamed in pleasure. With two of Arthur's fingers inside of her and his thumb rubbing over her numb, she moaned out her own release. Arthur kept stroking her through the aftershocks and didn't stop until she melted into the mattress. Removing his fingers from her, he reached down to the floor and found his towel. He used it to clean them both and then tossed it away again. He gathered Merlin into his arms and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"I love you." he whispered.

Merlin smiled.

"I love you too."

/

They were allowed to stay a month and a half in the castle before Uther ordered them out again. The snow had stopped and he wanted them to resume the search. Arthur was to take his party and comb through the forests of the kingdom. The day after the order was given found Merlin once again riding out of Camelot at Arthur's side. She wasn't looking forward to searching the forests. On all the other ventures they'd always stuck to the roads through the woods. Now, they were to go all through them. Merlin wasn't stupid, no matter what Arthur might say. She knew that bandits were prevalent in the deep recesses of the trees. Before, they were safe from them because no one in their right minds would attack two-dozen armed knights and guards, but this time they were to split up into smaller groups to cover more ground faster. Merlin had a bad feeling about this.

/

It only took a week before they were attacked the first time. She'd gone with Arthur and four other knights to search around some caves. A group of eight bandits descended upon them with no warning. Merlin drew the sword that Arthur had given her and did her best to defend herself. Of course, it helped that she had her magic, even if she did have to be careful how she used it. All in all, the fight was an easy win, even though they were outnumbered. The bandits had nowhere near the sword skills that the knights had. Even so, two were injured, and Merlin had to make poultices for them and bandage them. The wounds weren't serious, so she said that in a few days they'd be good as new. Arthur trusted her judgment and they continued on. He'd regret that soon enough.

/

Two more weeks passed before the next attack came. They were on their way to meet up with everyone else when it happened. A crossbow was fired and missed Arthur's head by mere inches. The fight began in earnest with the six of them against ten bandits. At first it seemed like this would be another relatively easy win, but then Merlin saw a bandit come at Arthur from behind while he was engaged with one in front. She used her magic to make the man trip and the sound of him falling alerted Arthur to his presence. He dealt with the man in front quickly and then thrust his sword into the chest of the man that had tried to strike his back. A smile spread over Merlin's face, but it quickly turned into a frown when one of the remaining enemies swung at her with his sword. She'd been too focused on Arthur to see him coming and didn't have time to raise her sword. All Merlin could do was take a step back, but it wasn't enough. The tip of the sword cut across the flesh of her stomach. She gasped as the pain hit her. Her magic reacted and threw the man into a tree. Merlin was satisfied to see that the blow knocked him unconscious. She pressed a hand to her stomach and cringed when her palm came away painted with her blood.

"Everyone okay?" she heard Arthur call. All the knights responded that they were fine, but Merlin couldn't speak. Arthur noticed that she didn't answer and his eyes swept over the clearing searching for her. When he saw her he paled. Dropping his sword, he was by her side in a matter of seconds. As soon as he reached her, Merlin collapsed into his arms.

"Merlin! You'll be all right. Just stay with me, Merlin. Somebody bring the medical supply bag!" he yelled. Merlin could feel herself slipping out of consciousness. Her bag was dropped at Arthur's side and he immediately began rifling through it.

"What do you need? Tell me how to fix you!" he demanded.

"The bleeding. Stop the bleeding." Merlin gasped out. Arthur laid her flat on her back and Merlin saw that all the knights had gathered around her.

"Tristan, apply pressure!" Arthur ordered. The knight knelt and pressed his hands to Merlin's stomach, which made her scream. Tristan, to his credit, didn't pull away.

"What now, Merlin?" Arthur asked desperately.

"You have to look at it. If it's a clean cut then apply the green poultice and bandage it. If it's not then it'll have to be stitched." Merlin forced out. She was fading fast. She heard him order the other knights to go meet with the others and tell them what happened. They did as he asked without a word. Tristan stayed and kept up the pressure on her stomach. He only pulled away when Arthur ripped her dress where the cut was so that he could look at it.

"Merlin…" he whispered when he saw that the wound extended all the way across her stomach. It wasn't very deep, but it was gushing blood and Arthur had seen enough men die of blood loss to know that Merlin was not going to last very long.

"It's a clean cut. At least the bastard had a sharp sword. Tristan, get the green poultice and some bandages."

Arthur pressed his hands to her skin and tried to ignore the sting of unshed tears behind his eyes. Tristan handed what he needed and they both set about patching her up. They hadn't yet started to wrap the bandage around her when Merlin lost her grip on reality and fell into darkness.

/

When Merlin woke up she cried out at the burning pain in her midsection.

"Thank God! Try to stay awake, Merlin. I'm taking you home." she heard Arthur say from behind her. That's when she recognized the rocking motion of a galloping horse and the sound of air rushing past her ears. She was wrapped in Arthur's cloak and held tightly in her arms.

"Arthur…" she tried, but he silenced her with a kiss to her temple.

"Save your energy. We're still a day from the city."

She looked up at him with heavy lidded eyes and he read the question in them.

"You've been unconscious for two days. I've been riding the same amount of time, and no, I'm not going to stop even if I kill the horse."

/

Merlin slipped in and out of consciousness, but she was awake when they finally made it to the castle. Arthur hadn't killed his horse, but it was a near thing. The stable master couldn't believe the state of the animal when Arthur handed him the reins before he helped Merlin down.

"It was an emergency." was all he said as he rushed away and toward Gaius' chambers. When he got there, he burst in and startled Gaius where he was boiling some purple concoction.

"We were attacked. She needs help." Arthur said as he laid her on a cot and Gaius rushed to her side. She barely had time to look up at her mentor before the darkness claimed her again.

/

The first thing Merlin was aware of was the sound of muffled shouts. She made a noise of protest, and then she heard Gaius' voice.

"There's my girl."

She opened her eyes to see him leaning over her.

"How long have I been asleep?" she asked. Her throat was so dry it hurt to talk. Gaius read her mind and handed her a cup of water that he helped her to sip.

"A few hours. Arthur's hasn't left your side, but after ignoring three summons from his father the king decided he'd come to his son. As you can imagine, he's not happy about being ignored."

Merlin grimaced. She couldn't even imagine what Arthur was having to deal with right now.

"I'd guess not."

Gaius smiled and brushed her hair out of her face.

"You gave us both quite a scare. I've never seen Arthur like that before. He must care for you a great deal."

Merlin didn't know how, but she managed to blush.

"I suppose he does."

"I'd say you care for him just as much." Gaius pressed, but Merlin didn't get to respond before Arthur came striding back into the room pinching the bridge of his nose. When he saw that Merlin was awake his annoyed look vanished and was replaced by relief.

"Merlin!" he said as he rushed to her side.

"I've got some errands to run. I'll be back shortly." Gaius said as he walked away. Merlin sent a fond smile his way. As soon as he was gone Arthur grasped her hand.

"You are not allowed to _ever_ scare me like this again, you hear me? I forbid it."

Merlin nodded.

"I'll do my best."

Arthur leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips.

"I really thought I was going to lose you. I thought you were going to die in my arms."

"Well I didn't. You did a good job patching me up."

Arthur huffed out a laugh.

"Only because you told me what to do."

Merlin reached up and ran her fingers through his hair.

"How angry is your father?"

Arthur winced.

"Angrier than I've ever seen him. He's ordered me to return to the search party immediately."

Merlin gripped his hand tighter.

"But you're exhausted. You need to rest before you can even thinking about going back."

"He says that my duty is to remain with my men, not to save a servant. My punishment is to not be allowed to recover before I have to go back."

Merlin shook her head.

"You can't."

Arthur kissed her again.

"I have to. I'll come back as soon as I can. Just get better, yeah?"

Merlin didn't want him to go. She wanted to yell that it wasn't fair, that Uther was being reckless by sending Arthur back out when he was so fatigued, but she knew that it would do no good.

"At least take a different horse." she whispered.

Arthur smiled.

"I will. I'll see you soon."

He squeezed her hand one more time and then swept out of the room. Merlin spent the next few minutes trying not to do something really foolish, like cry.

/

Arthur was gone for another month. In that time Merlin was able to fully recover. The only thing that remained of her injury was a thin scar across the middle of her stomach. Arthur spent long moments running his tongue over it and kissing it just to convince himself that Merlin was really healed. He was only back for two weeks before Uther once again ordered him out. They were to go back through the villages and try to glean information. This time there were four search parties that left Camelot, but Merlin was not among them. She stood on one of the battlements and watched as her prince rode away. Gwen found her sometime later and drew her away.

/

The next time Arthur returned his father granted him some reprieve. The prince had spent the better part of ten months away from Camelot, and Uther had some important affairs of state to attend to that required Arthur's presence. For two months he fulfilled his duties in the castle and helped his father determine new taxes, strengthen treaties, and go over supply costs for the search parties. When he was allowed some time to himself, he spent it in Merlin's arms. They'd missed each other and it was good to be able to hold one another again.

"He's going to send you away again now that all the matters of state have been settled, isn't he?" Merlin asked one night as they sat at his table sharing a meal.

"Yes. He's still convinced that Morgana is alive."

Merlin shook her head.

"Will he never stop?"

Arthur leveled her with a look that said, "You know he won't." It just made Merlin sigh. That night they refamiliarized themselves with each other's skin. Merlin came undone with Arthur's name on her lips, and that was how her third year in Camelot ended.


	4. Year Four

A/N: Hey guys! This chapter gave me such a headache. It just kept growing and growing with no end in sight, but finally I managed to get it just the way I wanted it. It's over 12,000 words, and I can barely believe it. I hope you all enjoy it though, and as always, feel free to review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

/

Arthur and his party were in the courtyard preparing to leave on yet another search when a messenger came galloping in. He brought word that one of the other parties had been brutally attacked. When he was sent back to the city more than half of them had already fallen. Uther ordered Arthur to take his party and find them. Merlin swung up onto a horse next to him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Arthur asked her.

"I'm coming with you. If there are any survivors, they're going to be injured. You'll need my help."

"Merlin, I don't have time to argue with you about this…"

"So don't." Merlin said as she kicked her horse and made him move forward. Arthur just shook his head and followed after her.

/

They traveled fast and found the party in the foothills of the mountains. Merlin knew they would be too late to save anyone, but Arthur ordered them to search for survivors anyway. When none could be found he said that they would follow the party's course, which they had learned from the messenger. Merlin didn't think that was a good idea.

"Should we really be doing that? I mean, these men were slaughtered." she whispered to Arthur.

"Yes, and that means that they were on to something. We have to find out what it was. It might lead us to Morgana."

/

It did lead to Morgana. Merlin could scarcely believe her eyes when the woman came walking out of the trees toward them. While she was glad that this meant that no more search parties would be sent out, she was also terrified about what Morgana might tell Arthur and the king about her disappearance. If she told them that Merlin had tried to kill her, Merlin's execution order was as much as signed. Surprisingly, Morgana didn't say a word about Merlin's actions to the king or prince. She _did_ speak to Merlin about them. She said she understood why Merlin had done it, and that she regretted everything she had done. Merlin looked at her tear-streaked face, and she couldn't help but believe her. She thought, maybe her friend had returned. She was wrong.

/

When Uther started having hallucinations, Merlin grew suspicious. When she saw Morgana leaving the castle one night, she knew the girl had something to do with the king's illness. It became clear that Morgana was not who she claimed to be; she was working to destroy Camelot. The worst part was, she was succeeding. By striking at the king, she was also striking at Arthur. As Uther deteriorated into madness, Arthur also began to crumble. Merlin knew that she had to do something. She followed Morgana one night, but that only lead to her being captured.

"Why is it that you continue to risk everything for Arthur?" the witch asked her. Merlin chose not to respond.

"There's something you're not telling me, but no matter. You will take your secrets to your grave. You tried to poison one of my own. You may yet regret that."

Morgause enchanted the chains around Merlin to be unbreakable, and then she left her to the Serkets. No matter how hard Merlin tried, or what spell she used, she could not free herself. She also couldn't fight off the giant scorpion-like creatures, and soon enough one of them struck her in the back. The venom burned in her blood, and Merlin knew that she needed help.

"Kilgharrah! Please, I need your help!" she screamed into the sky. Merlin knew it was a long shot, but the dragon was her last chance. Just as night fell and Merlin had given up hope of being rescued, she heard the tell-tale sound of the dragon's wings. He came swooping out of the sky and burned the Serkets that were surrounding Merlin. When the creatures were dead, he gently picked up Merlin in his claws and flew her to safety. They landed in a large cave near the top of the highest mountain in Camelot.

"I didn't think you'd come; didn't know if you could hear me." Merlin wheezed.

"I can always hear you, young witch. I told you the last time we met that I would reward your courage. It is not yet your time to die."

Kilgharrah breathed over Merlin and she felt the burning in her veins cool and the pressure in her chest dissipate. The chains around her body fell away and Merlin sighed in contentment.

"Rest. It will take time for your strength to return."

Merlin nodded and let her eyes fall closed.

"Thank you." she whispered before sleep claimed her.

/

The next day Merlin got the dragon to fly her back to the city, where she broke the enchantment on Uther. However, in her absence, things had gone from bad to worse. Cenred and his army were closing in on Camelot, and they would have no choice but to fight. Arthur was forced to take charge and act in his father's place while Uther was still recovering from the effects of Morgana's enchantment. When it was time for Arthur to get ready for battle, Merlin found him in the king's chambers.

"Sire. It's time." she said quietly.

Arthur looked at her and then back to his father. He leaned over him and said, "I promise I will not let you down."

When he stood before Merlin she reached up and brushed the tears from his eyes. They walked back to his chambers in silence and Merlin put him in his armor. When she handed him his sword she said, "It is your fate to be the greatest king Camelot has ever known. Your victory today will be remembered by every age until the end of time."

Arthur's gaze softened and he said, "There are times, Merlin, when you display a sort of…I don't know what it is. It's not wisdom, but yes, that's what it is."

Merlin smirked and he took her arm to pull her to his chest.

"I won't tell you to stay in the castle, because I know you won't. Just be careful." he whispered into her hair.

"You're the one who should be careful. I'll be fine."

"See that you are."

He kissed her and then left to go to his men. Merlin watched him walk away and she knew she was looking at a true king.

/

The battle as well as it could have gone. There were a few interesting moments, like when Uther charged headfirst into the foray, and the magical living skeletons were unexpected. Uther was brought back into the castle, Arthur and his men defended the citadel, and Merlin took care of the magic. When the dust settled, Camelot was victorious. Of course, Merlin got no credit and Morgana managed to maintain her charade of loving ward. It was going to be a long year.

/

When Merlin accidentally released the goblin, she didn't think it would be all that bad. Well, to be fair, compared to other things, it wasn't. Mostly, it just caused a bit of embarrassment and hilarity within the city. Even so, she was glad when Gwen was able to help her contain it again.

Days later, Arthur and Merlin went for a ride so they could spend some time together alone. They stopped at a tavern for a drink, and found themselves in the middle of a fight. A brunette man came to their aid, and took a knife that was intended for Arthur. His name was Gwaine, and Arthur brought him back to Camelot to be treated. He awoke the next day when Merlin brought him some food.

"What am I doing in this bed?" he asked her. Merlin smiled.

"You were wounded. Arthur wanted to make sure you were treated by his physician."

Gwaine gave her a confused look.

"Arthur?"

Merlin set the food down.

"Prince Arthur. You saved his life when you took that knife for him."

Gwaine groaned.

"If I'd have known who he was, I wouldn't have. He's a noble."

"Yeah, but he's a good man."

"If you say so."

Merlin just stared at Gwaine. The only other person she'd ever known with such distaste for nobles was Will.

"So, whose bed is this?" Gwaine asked after he'd taken a sip of water.

"It's mine."

Gwaine grimaced.

"Oh. Well, forgive me for robbing one as fair as you of her sleeping quarters."

Merlin smiled.

"It's fine, really. Gaius has a spare cot in the main chamber that I slept on. Besides, you needed to be close so that we could monitor your condition."

"So you're the physician's assistant then?"

Merlin nodded.

"As well as Arthur's personal servant."

Gwaine laughed.

"I don't envy you that position."

The smile fell from Merlin's face.

"He's really not that bad once you get to know him. Arthur comes off as a prat at first, but after a while you find out that he's actually got a good heart."

Gwaine considered her for a moment, and then smirked.

"And you'd know quite a bit about his heart, wouldn't you?"

Merlin ducked her head and didn't reply. She left the room to the sound of Gwaine's laughter.

/

It didn't take Gwaine long before he was back on his feet. He used them to take him to the tavern in the lower town, where he managed to wrack up an impressive bill. Merlin had to come down and deal with the owner on his account.

"You've got to be kidding me!" she exclaimed when she saw the bill. Gwaine just smiled at her.

The owner stepped closer to her and said, "He says he don't have any money, so it looks like you'll be paying for it all."

Merlin's eyes widened.

"I can't afford this!"

"Then you better find someone who can."

Merlin thought they were going to be in big trouble, but then she remembered Arthur.

"Send the bill to the prince. He'll pay it."

The tavern owner took a step back.

"Prince Arthur is going to pay for him?" he said gesturing to Gwaine who had fallen onto the floor in his drunken state.

"Yes. You have my word."

The owner looked at her for a minute longer and then nodded. Merlin helped Gwaine up and together they made their way back to Gaius's chambers. When Merlin laid Gwaine onto her bed he smiled up at her.

"You're the best friend I've ever had, Merlin. And the prettiest by far."

"You're drunk." Merlin laughed.

"That may be true, but you still are the prettiest woman I've ever seen. And I've seen my fair share."

Merlin blushed and made to leave, but Gwaine stopped her when he said, "I'd love to see Arthur's face when he gets that bill."

"What is it with you and nobles?"

"Nothing. My father was a knight. He died in battle and left my mother penniless."

Merlin sat next to him on the bed.

"You never knew him?"

Gwaine shook his head.

"Just heard stories."

Merlin sighed.

"I know how that is. I met my father just briefly before he died. He was banished."

Gwaine sat up.

"What for?"

"Nothing. He served King Uther."

"And the king turned against him. That doesn't surprise me."

Merlin shook her head.

"Arthur's not like that. He wouldn't turn away people that had helped him. He cares about his subjects, each and every one of them, whether they're noble or not."

Gwaine just smiled.

"Well that may be, but none of them are worth dying for."

He fell back onto the pillow, and Merlin left him to sleep off the alcohol.

/

Knights had been arriving for the melee for days, but two of them were not what they seemed. Merlin knew they were planning to kill the prince when she cut herself on one of their "blunt" swords. They found her in their chambers, and they tried to hurt her, but Gwaine came to her rescue. He was banished for assaulting a knight. Arthur had done all he could to save Gwaine's life, giving his word that Gwaine was a good man, but he could not make his father reconsider. With Gwaine gone, Merlin had to focus on saving Arthur. The melee came and just when it looked like Arthur would be struck down, one of the knights came to his aid. When Merlin saw the way the man fought, a smile lit up her face. There was only one man she knew who could fight like that. After the two imposter knights were struck down, Gwaine revealed himself. Uther was furious, but Arthur once again spoke on his behalf. Uther granted him a pardon, but would not revoke his banishment. Gwaine once again had to leave the city. Before he left, he caught up to Merlin in the market.

"It seems you were right about Arthur. He's worth dying for."

Merlin smiled.

"I told you he was a good man."

Gwaine nodded.

"I hope he knows how lucky he is to have your loyalty. If all the people of Camelot love him as much as you do, then he's bound to be a great king."

Merlin squeezed his arm and kissed his cheek.

"Take care of yourself, Gwaine."

"I'll do my best."

Merlin made her way back up to the castle. It was almost dinner time and Arthur would be hungry. When she came in with his tray he had a guarded smile on his face.

"So, are you going to miss Gwaine?" he asked as she set his food in front of him.

"Yes. He made things interesting around here."

Arthur laughed.

"To say the least."

He was quiet for a moment while he took a few bites of his food. Merlin went about straightening up and setting out his nightclothes.

"I saw you two in the market." Arthur finally said.

Merlin turned to look at him.

"I was just saying goodbye."

"Do you kiss all the men you say goodbye to?"

Merlin stared at him for a few long seconds and then she laughed.

"You're jealous! Oh please, Arthur, it was just a peck on the cheek. It was completely innocent!"

Arthur scowled.

"Did he know that? He seemed very taken with you."

Merlin walked over to the table and leaned over him.

"That may be, but I'm only taken with one person, and it isn't Gwaine."

Arthur set down his cup and turned more towards her.

"Oh yeah? And who is this person?"

Merlin smiled.

"I think you might know him. He's a royal prat and can often times be arrogant and condescending, but he's also a good man with his heart in the right place."

"He does sound vaguely familiar." Arthur conceded.

"I thought he might." Merlin said just before she placed her lips over Arthur's.

/

When Merlin entered the Crystal Cave a month later, she didn't know that a series of events would be set in motion that would break her heart. She saw a vision of Morgana killing Uther. To try and stop this from happening, she began to follow the woman and keep a close eye on her. In order to stop her one night, she used magic that caused her to fall down a flight of stairs. Morgana sustained a bad head injury, and Gaius didn't think he could do anything to save her. Both Uther and Arthur were devastated, but Merlin didn't know just how much until the afternoon that Arthur came into his chambers near tears. He collapsed into a chair and Merlin just stood awkwardly off to the side.

"I'm sorry about Morgana." she whispered.

Arthur sighed.

"After all we went through to rescue her, all she lived through, it doesn't seem fair to lose her like this. I've grown up with her; she's like a sister to me. I'd give up my place on the throne for her to see another sunrise."

Merlin's heart skipped a beat. She couldn't let Morgana die. Not if it would cost her Arthur's happiness. She went back to her room, and there she overheard Uther talking to Gaius. She had to contain her surprise when she learned that Morgana was actually Uther's daughter. So many things made sense in that moment; his desperate need to find her no matter what the cost, his absolute trust of her, his grief over the thought of her death. Everything made sense. Merlin combed through her magic book looking for a spell, any spell, which might save Morgana. She found one at last late that night. When she whispered it over the sleeping girl, she watched in amazement as color returned to her and her breathing deepened. Merlin had saved her.

/

As soon as Morgana's health was restored everyone in Camelot began smiling again. Uther was in such a good mood that he invited his close friend Lord Godwyn and his daughter Princess Elena to the city. They arrived as soon as they were able, and Merlin noticed that Arthur seemed distracted.

"Make sure you put them in the finest guest chambers available." he told her as they walked down one of the corridors after Uther and Arthur had formally welcomed the two to Camelot.

"It's all been arranged. They will not be less than impressed."

Arthur nodded and then stopped. Merlin turned to him with a concerned gaze.

"Something is troubling you, isn't it?"

"It's nothing, not really. My father just had some surprising news for me. He expects me to marry Princess Elena."

Merlin's breath left her in a rush.

"Marriage?"

Arthur's eyes widened when he noticed her distress and he shook his head.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to."

He set off back down the corridor and left Merlin standing there. She was trying not to worry, but it was proving difficult.

/

The next day Uther planned for Arthur and Elena to go for a ride and then enjoy a picnic lunch by the river not far from the city. Merlin was to go along and attend to them during the meal. She'd noticed that Elena was nothing like what she always thought princesses would be like. The girl was clumsy, had appalling manners, and was hopeless when it came to personal grooming. However, she could ride a horse like no other woman Merlin had ever seen. Even Arthur was impressed with her skill. When she caught up to the pair, Merlin heard him compliment her. Of course, she had to laugh a little when Arthur gave Elena a rose and it made her sneeze. That's when she figured it would be best to make herself known.

"Merlin! There you are." Arthur called when she walked over to them carrying the blanket, pillows, and food for their picnic.

"Do not leave me again." he whispered to her as he grabbed the blanket from her. She set everything up while Arthur and Elena walked along the riverbank. When everything was ready she called them over. Arthur helped Elena sit, but the girl still managed to mostly just fall. Arthur looked over her head and grimaced at Merlin. Merlin just tried not to giggle too loudly.

/

When Merlin found out that Elena's maid was a pixie, she knew that something must be going on. She told Gaius, and he guessed that Elena was a changeling, a human harboring a fairy. They set to work trying to find a way to force the fairy out of Elena, but it was slow going. After a long night of research, Gaius finally found a potion that would do what they wanted. It wasn't easy to make, but they were determined to make it work. Still, they were running out of time. Arthur had called a gathering for that morning, and Merlin had a bad feeling about it. Before the meeting, he asked Merlin to come to his chambers.

"I need to talk to you."

"Yes. I'd guessed that when you sent for me. It's about your marriage to Elena, isn't it?"

Arthur crossed his arms over his chest. The look on his face said everything Merlin needed to know.

"You're going to propose to her." Merlin stated.

"It's what my father wants."

Merlin stepped closer.

"Well, Elena is a smart girl. She will make a fine queen."

Arthur dropped his hands and Merlin finally saw the tears in his eyes.

"I don't want her to be my queen. I want _you_, Merlin. Is that really so insane?"

Merlin swallowed the lump in her throat and willed her voice to be steady as she said, "Yes. To everyone else, it's completely insane."

"Then I'm happy being insane. It beats being miserable."

Merlin shook her head.

"I hardly think Elena will make you miserable. If nothing else, she's a constant source of entertainment."

Arthur laughed a little, but then he looked right at her.

"If I marry her, what will you do?"

Merlin met his gaze and said, "I will watch you become the king that I know you will be and I'll be happy knowing that Camelot is in good hands."

Arthur nodded and turned away from her. He needed time to compose himself, and Merlin left him alone. When he actually got down on one knee before Elena and asked her to be his wife, Merlin forced herself to watch. She was eternally grateful that she managed to do it without crying.

/

Gaius and Merlin managed to complete the potion before Arthur's wedding, and Merlin was able to kill the fairy when it finally left the girl. Once she knew that Arthur was no longer in danger, she left. Merlin had watched him propose to another woman, she didn't think she could actually see him marry her. She found Gwen and asked her to do her a favor.

"Of course, what is it?"

Merlin swallowed and took a deep breath.

"I need you to bring Arthur his ceremonial sword. It's in his chambers on the rack. It's the one with the marble handle. He always forgets it."

Gwen nodded and then placed her hand on Merlin's arm.

"Alright, but where are you going, Merlin?"

Merlin tried to smile, but it just wouldn't come. Instead she just shook her head.

"Back to my room. I'm not feeling well at all and I don't want to ruin the wedding by passing out or throwing up. Arthur will understand. Thanks for helping me, Gwen."

She brushed past her friend quickly. Merlin knew that if Gwen kept asking her questions she was going to do something horrendously stupid and tell the truth.

/

Merlin made it all the way back to her room when she finally realized that she was being selfish. As hard as Arthur's getting married was for her, she knew that it was even harder for Arthur. He needed her today, and she wasn't going to let him down. She took off and ran all the way to the throne room where the ceremony was to take place. Merlin tried to slip inside undetected, but Arthur turned just in time to see her enter.

"Wait!" he called.

Merlin held her breath.

"Is there something you wish to say?" Geoffrey asked him.

"Something I should have said a long time ago. Something from the heart I dare not speak."

A curious hush fell over the crowd and Merlin's heart began to race.

"Elena, you are a wonderful woman, but I cannot deny my feelings."

Elena smiled.

"You do not love me."

Arthur shook his head.

"And I think if you were honest, you do not love me either."

Elena also shook her head.

"So we are both here out of duty. Can you forgive me?"

Elena gave him a bright smile.

"I agree with all that you have said. Thank you, Arthur."

Arthur released her hands and then strode back up the aisle with Uther hot on his heels. Merlin was frozen to her spot. She couldn't believe what had just happened.

/

Elena and her father left that afternoon. Merlin stood beside Arthur to see them off.

"I wish you well, Arthur Pendragon." Elena said as she descended the steps into the courtyard.

"And I you, Princess Elena." Arthur said as he kissed her hand.

Elena looked right at Merlin when she said, "I hope one day we both find the love we deserve."

She looked back to Arthur when he raised his head.

"In the meantime, if you ever want to be beaten in a horse race, you know where to find me."

Elena walked away and both Merlin and Arthur watched her go. When she was out of earshot Merlin turned to Arthur and said, "I like her. She knows how to take you down a peg."

Arthur glanced sideways at her.

"Yes. Almost as well as you do."

They made their way back to Arthur's chambers where he pulled Merlin into his arms.

"So, it appears that I'm still a single man."

Merlin smiled.

"So it does. It's for the best, really. You didn't deserve Princess Elena."

Arthur laughed.

"No? Well I had hoped to have forsaken her for one equally as lovely, with maybe a little more wit but not quite as many brains."

"Hmm, I'm not quite sure I know of such a lady."

"I do."

Arthur leaned down for a kiss and Merlin smiled against his lips.

/

Some weeks later, Gwen went missing. Merlin searched her house, but all she found was a cloth doused in a concoction potent enough to knock someone out. She showed it to Arthur as soon as she could.

"What is that?" he asked her when she came running into his room.

"It's a cloth that I found in Gwen's house. I heard that she didn't turn up for work this morning and I was worried."

Arthur gave her his you're-an-idiot look.

"You found cloth in Gwen's house? Well, that's really suspicious. Who would guess that there'd be cloth in a seamstresses house?"

Merlin sighed.

"Smell it."

Arthur shook his head and gave her a disgusted look.

"What? No."

Merlin thrust the cloth at him.

"Smell it."

He did this time, and promptly reeled.

"What on earth? You could knock a man out with that!"

Merlin nodded.

"Or a woman."

Arthur looked at her and asked, "You think Gwen's been kidnapped?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Whatever for?"

Merlin shrugged her shoulders.

"I have no idea, but I intend to find out and get her back. Gwen's like my sister; she means the world to me."

Arthur took in her distressed and worried state.

"Alright. If it means that much to you, I'll see if my father will send out a search party for her."

Merlin threw her arms around him.

"Thank you, Arthur."

/

Uther wouldn't send out a search party, he wouldn't do anything. In his eyes Gwen was just a servant and she had no real value. Merlin was devastated. It didn't last long, because Gwen turned up the next day. Merlin ran into her, literally, in a corridor.

"Gwen! I've been worried sick about you! I scoured the lower town looking for you."

Gwen wouldn't meet Merlin's eye.

"I'm sorry. I just had a cold, that's all."

Merlin wasn't buying it.

"I went to your house, Gwen. You weren't there."

"No, I…um…I…"

That's when Merlin saw the bruises on her wrists.

"Who did this to you?" she asked. Gwen tried to pull down her sleeves, but it was too late.

"No one. It was an accident."

By this time she was crying, and Merlin knew that something terrible had happened to her. She helped her up and brought her home. When they got there she made some tea and handed a cup to Gwen.

"Tell me everything."

Gwen sighed.

"Men came to my house last night and drugged me. I don't know where they took me, but it was an old castle by the sea. Cenred was there. He captured my brother, Elyan, too. Cenred said that if I didn't bring Prince Arthur to him in a week then he'd make me watch while he tore out Elyan's heart. I don't know why he thought that I could make the prince do anything. I suppose we're friends, but it's not as if I have any real sway with him. My brother is going to die, and there's nothing I can do about it."

Merlin was gobsmacked. She had an idea why they would take Gwen. Everyone knew that there was no one that Merlin was closer to, and if you asked the right people, it was also known that no one was closer to the prince than Merlin. Merlin of course was too well protected to kidnap, what with her being with the prince almost constantly and having a room within the castle, so the next best thing was to take Gwen. If they could force Gwen to have to make a terrible choice, whoever was planning this knew that Merlin would do anything to make sure Gwen didn't suffer. And if Merlin was going to help Gwen, so was Arthur. He'd never let her do anything by herself.

"Let me talk to Arthur. I'm sure he can help us."

Gwen turned to her with wide eyes.

"No, Merlin! I can't involve the prince in this, I can't. It's what Cenred wants."

Merlin shook her head.

"And I can't let you suffer. We'll talk to Arthur and see what he says. He might be able to help us come up with a plan."

/

And that was how Merlin, Gwen, Arthur, and Morgana set out to the Castle Fyrien to rescue Elyan. Merlin knew it was a bad idea to bring Morgana along. She was the one feeding information to Cenred, Merlin was sure of it. With her along, their plan was pretty much doomed to fail from the start. Merlin's fears became realized when their "secret way" into the castle was discovered and all four of them were captured. With some more quick thinking by Arthur, they managed to escape the dungeons, but Morgana was nowhere to be found.

"Merlin, take Gwen and Elyan and get them to the horses. When you get there, ride straight for Camelot."

"And where are you going?"

"To find Morgana. I'm not leaving here without her."

"It's too dangerous!"

Arthur gripped her arm.

"I can't leave her. Promise me you'll go to the horses and get yourselves out of here."

Merlin had no choice but to nod and watch Arthur run back the way they had come. Once he was out of sight she turned to Gwen and Elyan.

"Do as he says. I've got to help him."

"But he just said…" Elyan tried, but Gwen stopped him with a hand to his shoulder. She met Merlin's eye and understanding passed between them.

"Be careful." she said, and then she led Elyan down the corridor while Merlin chased after Arthur. She got to him just in time to save him from Morgause's magic. Merlin ran in to help him up and he yelled when he saw her.

"You promised me you'd get out of here!"

"Yeah, well, you're not the only one who couldn't leave someone they cared about behind."

Together they got Morgana and escaped the castle. They met up with Gwen and Elyan at the horses and Arthur sighed.

"I guess no one in this group takes my orders seriously."

Gwen smiled.

"Just because you're a prince, that doesn't mean we always have to do what you say."

The ride back to Camelot was lighthearted and filled with the sense of victory and accomplishment, even though Morgana didn't seem to share those sentiments.

/

A month later Arthur had to prove himself worthy to take the throne of Camelot by embarking alone on a quest. He'd chosen to retrieve the Golden Trident of the Fisher King. Merlin wished he could have chosen something easier, but like always, he didn't listen to her. Just before he set out, Merlin caught sight of a bracelet on his arm.

"Like it?" he asked.

"It's very nice. Where'd you get it?" she asked.

"Morgana gave it to me."

Arthur rode away and Merlin knew that whatever that bracelet was, it was not going to help the prince.

/

Gaius discovered that the stone in the bracelet was actually not a stone, but an eye of the phoenix. It supposedly drew the life force out of the wearer.

"I've got to get to Arthur before that bracelet kills him."

"You can't go alone, Merlin. The Perilous Lands are, as their name suggest, perilous." Gaius insisted. Merlin paused and then smiled.

"I won't be going alone."

/

It took some hunting to find Gwaine, but once she found him he agreed to help her with little fuss. Together they set out for the perilous lands. They were almost there when Merlin found a man guarding a bridge.

"So Magic has arrived!" the man exclaimed when he saw her.

"Excuse me?"

"Courage passed this way not long ago. I told him that to be successful in his quest he would need Magic and Strength. Magic stands before me, and I suspect Strength is not far behind."

Just then Gwaine came stumbling down the path and the man smiled.

"Ah, there he is. The trio is complete."

Gwaine pointed to the man and asked, "Who's he?"

"I am the keeper of the bridge. You both must hurry, but remember, nothing is as it seems."

Gwaine and Merlin both stepped forward and began to make their way across the bridge. When they reached the other side Gwaine turned to her and said, "That was a very strange man."

"Yes." Merlin said, but she couldn't help but think that he had told them something important.

/

When Merlin and Gwaine made camp that night they were startled by the cries of some beast.

"What was that?" Merlin asked.

"Pheasant." Gwaine said. She turned to look at him.

"Pheasant?"

"A very big one."

Merlin laughed. Gwaine was truly a character. After a while she said, "You can turn back if you want."

Gwaine just shook his head.

"I'm not scared of pheasants."

"You know what I mean. Why do you want to do this?"

Gwaine's gaze softened and he said, "The same reason you do; to help a friend."

Merlin smiled softly at him.

"Arthur's lucky to have us."

Gwaine shook his head.

"Not Arthur." he said as he placed his hand gently on her knee. Merlin looked at him and nodded.

"I'd do the same for you."

"I hope so. You're the only friend I've got. Although, I wouldn't mind being more than just your friend."

Merlin stiffened, but Gwaine just laughed and removed his hand from her knee.

"Don't worry, I know there's no chance for us. I could never hope to compete with your prince."

Merlin relaxed again and gave him an apologetic smile.

"I hope Arthur knows what a treasure he has in you." Gwaine said softly.

"He does."

Gwaine nodded and got up to get ready for bed. They didn't speak for the rest of the night.

/

When Merlin found Arthur he was unconscious, but he quickly woke up after she'd removed the bracelet. When he saw her he was furious.

"What are you doing here? You've completely ruined the quest. I'm supposed to do this _alone_!"

"I'll just leave you to die then, shall I?" Merlin asked, but Arthur just scoffed. When Gwaine saved them both from a wyvern, Arthur grew even angrier. Still, he didn't refuse their help and they began searching the castle for the trident. At one point, Merlin got separated from the two men because she'd stepped on something that caused a stone door to shut. She couldn't hear anything through it, even though she tried yelling for them. When she turned around she found herself in what was once a throne room. Merlin walked closer to the throne and found the Fisher King himself. He told her that this was really her quest and not Arthur's. He gave he water from the lake of Avalon, saying that it would help her in Camelot's darkest hour. In return, she put the phoenix eye bracelet on him so that he could finally be at rest. He'd just disappeared when Arthur and Gwaine were able to open the door.

"Merlin! Are you alright?" Arthur asked her as he rushed toward her.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

Arthur looked her over from head to toe, and when he was satisfied that she really was fine he took a look around. When Gwaine got to her, he wrapped Merlin in a hug. He'd just released her when Arthur picked up the trident and announced that they could leave. They left Gwaine at the border, since by Uther's decree he was still banished.

"I'm sorry, Gwaine. There's nothing I can do to change my father's mind."

"Maybe one day." Merlin added.

"Yeah, when Camelot gets itself a half-decent king." Gwaine said with a smile.

Arthur shook his head and said, "Careful. He is my father."

"Well, you can't have everything, can you." he said while looking right at Merlin. She blushed under his gaze, but luckily Arthur didn't seem t notice. He and Merlin rode back to the city, and Gwaine once again let the wind take him.

/

Alice, a woman from Gaius' past, arrived a few weeks later. Gaius was thrilled to see her again, and Merlin soon learned that her mentor had once been engaged to the woman. He still loved her very much, and Merlin was happy that they could be together again. Unfortunately, she discovered that Alice was under the control of a Manticore. Merlin tried to tell Gaius, but he wouldn't believe her. It wasn't until Uther was in danger that the old man had no choice but to see the truth. He helped Merlin get rid of the creature, but Alice once again left Camelot. Merlin took no pleasure in breaking Gaius' heart, even though she'd had no choice.

/

Although, if Merlin thought that breaking Gaius' heart once was bad, then there was no way she could have prepared herself for breaking his heart again, along with Gwen's, Arthur's, and her own at the same time. Arthur had planned a day for just the two of them out in the forest. Merlin was very excited as she made her way to the spot Arthur had picked. At first, everything was wonderful. They had lunch and enjoyed the sunshine and just got to relax. Merlin had just leaned over to kiss Arthur when the king and Morgana rode up. That's when everything went to hell.

/

"He's banished you!" Arthur screamed after he'd come back from meeting with his father. Merlin stood up so quickly it made her dizzy.

"What?"

Arthur threw a cup at the wall and screamed again.

"He's banished you from Camelot. You have three days to leave. To return is on pain of death."

"He can't do that!" Merlin insisted.

"He's the king, I assure you, he can."

Merlin collapsed back into her chair. Finally she whispered, "I suppose I have no choice. I'll go back to my mother in Ealdor."

Arthur took her hand.

"I'm coming with you."

Merlin shook her head.

"You can't! If you leave you'll give up your rights to the throne. I can't let you do that. You have to become king!"

Arthur silenced her with a kiss. When he drew away he cupped her cheek and said, "One day we will return to Camelot and you will take your place on the throne beside me. I swear it."

Neither of them saw Morgana silently shut the door.

/

The next day Merlin was dragged into the council chambers by two guards. She was thrust to her knees before the king and he shoved a poultice in her face.

"Do you recognize it?" he demanded.

"I've never seen it before in my life."

Uther sat back and said "I believe you planted it in Arthur's chambers to make him fall in love with you."

Merlin looked over at Morgana and saw the smirk she couldn't contain.

"I did no such thing." she said without taking her eyes off the woman.

"Why else would Arthur fall in love with someone like you?" Uther demanded.

Merlin was shaking in rage. She was being set up, and Morgana had covered her bases well.

"I don't expect someone like you to understand that." she spat. Just then, Arthur came striding into the room with Gwen at his heels. She'd seen Merlin being dragged away and had obviously alerted Arthur.

"What is the meaning of this?" the prince practically yelled.

"This poultice was found under your pillow. It's some kind of love charm; you were under its spell." Uther said as he showed Arthur the small pouch. Arthur shook his head.

"That's ridiculous. I know how I feel. I'm not enchanted."

Uther stepped closer to his son and asked, "So can you tell me how it came to be in your chambers?"

Arthur shook his head.

"I don't know, but I don't believe that Merlin put it there. Why would she? She's been my servant for years. Why would she enchant me now?"

Uther turned to glare at Merlin where she was still on the floor.

"Because up until now she's been gaining your trust. She's been biding her time and waiting for the perfect moment to strike."

Arthur was shaking in fury.

"No. I know, Merlin. She would never do anything like that."

Uther turned back to his son and cupped his cheek.

"Until this spell is broken I can't take anything you say as the truth. Merlin has been found guilty of using magic and enchantments. She will be burned at the stake."

Arthur shook his head and paled.

"No. You can't do this!" he yelled. Uther had him restrained.

"My lord, at least give Merlin a fair trial!" Gaius pleaded. His pleas fell on deaf ears.

"I have all the evidence I need. I know you care for your ward, Gaius, but you know the law."

Arthur struggled against the guards holding him.

"I'm begging you! We will leave Camelot, just let us go! I relinquish my entitlement to the throne!"

Uther walked over to him saying, "My son would never do that. It is proof beyond doubt that you are enchanted."

"I will never forgive you for this."

Uther nodded.

"She will die, the enchantment will be broken, and you will see that I was right. Take her away."

Guards came forward and dragged Merlin off the floor and towards the doors. Arthur yelled and fought against his captors. He was able to break free long enough to rush to her and press a kiss to her lips.

"I will always love you." he said as he was caught again and Merlin was dragged away.

/

Merlin wasn't in the dungeon long before Gwen came to bring her food.

"I thought you might be hungry." she said as she put it down on the bench. Merlin shook her head.

"I've just come from seeing, Arthur. He's devastated. I've never seen him like this."

Gwen came forward and took Merlin's hand.

"You two really love each other, don't you?"

Merlin gave her a small smile.

"Yes."

Gwen nodded.

"I knew that you cared for each other, everyone did, but I didn't know that he'd be willing to give up the throne for you."

Merlin let out a mirthless laugh.

"As if I'd let him. I'd rather die tomorrow than have that happen. Arthur _must_ become king."

Gwen shook her head.

"If you die tomorrow, there will _be_ no Arthur. You might as well tie him to that stake next to you. If he loses you, Merlin, he will lose his will to live. One look in his eyes was enough to tell me that."

Merlin choked out a sob and Gwen wrapped her arms around her.

"He's not the only one who can't watch you die. You're as good as my sister, and like a daughter to Gaius. We will find a way to get you out of here. I promise."

Merlin shook her head.

"Uther will never see reason."

Gwen cupped her cheeks and said, "I will not let you go to that pyre, Merlin. You hear me? I _won't_. You've saved my life many times over, risked your own life to help me, and I will not abandon you now. We will get you out of here."

She pressed a kiss to Merlin's forehead and then swept out of the cell. Merlin watched her go and thought that if anyone could find a way to get her out of this, it was Gwen.

/

Gaius came to her later looking hopeless.

"Gwen and I have tried to think of anything we could do, but nothing seems like it will work."

Merlin reached out through the bars and gripped his hand.

"It's alright, Gaius."

Gaius squeezed her fingers and said, "No it's not. I can't lose you, Merlin. None of us can. Who could have done this?"

Merlin sighed.

"I think we both know the answer to that."

Gaius nodded.

"But we'd never be able to prove it was Morgana, and nothing short of bringing in someone else to take the blame will convince Uther to let you go."

Merlin suddenly smiled.

"Gaius! That's it! If we can't expose the real magic user, we'll make one up!"

"What are you talking about?"

Merlin felt hope swell within her.

"I read a spell once that will age a person. If I use it on someone and you make another poultice, then we can make sure that this person gets caught red-handed putting it in Arthur's chambers. Uther will have no choice but to release me, and when he does I'll cast the counter-spell and return the person to their normal selves. We'll make it look like the culprit escaped, and no one will get hurt."

Gaius smiled

"That's brilliant, my girl! But, who could we get to agree to do that?"

Merlin knew just the person.

"Gwen will do it."

Gaius shook his head.

"Are you sure, Merlin? You'd have to expose your magic to her."

Merlin nodded.

"I know, but we can trust Gwen. Go find her and tell her the plan. Send her down here with something she can put on over her normal clothes. While I cast the spell, you make another poultice."

"Alright. I hope this works, Merlin."

"So do I."

/

Not too much later Gwen once again appeared outside Merlin's cell. She was carrying a bundle of cloth, but Merlin couldn't read her expression.

"Is it really true?" she asked when she knew they wouldn't be overheard. Merlin sighed. She knew she was going to have to explain herself.

"Yes. I was born with magic."

Gwen shook her head.

"But you're such a good person. How could you have magic? It's evil."

Merlin slowly walked toward her.

"No, Gwen. It's not magic that's evil, it's people. Magic is just a tool, and I've never used my magic to hurt you, or Arthur, or Uther, or Camelot. I swear it."

"But you have hurt people with it?"

Merlin nodded.

"When it was necessary. I've been protecting Arthur since I got here. That's the reason I have magic. It's my destiny to make sure he becomes the greatest king Camelot has ever known. I never meant to lie to anyone, but I had to keep who I really was a secret. Otherwise, I would have been dead a long time ago."

"Yes. You would have."

They were silent for a moment, but then Merlin extended her hand toward Gwen through the bars.

"I know you're hurt, Gwen, and probably really confused, but I want you to know that nothing that's happened between us is a lie. You are my dearest friend and I love you as I would love a sister. I would never do anything to hurt you."

Gwen grasped her hand without hesitation.

"I know that, Merlin. If I didn't then I never would have agreed to your plan. Magic or not, I still care about you and I don't wish to see you die. So, do what you have to and we'll hope it works."

Merlin nodded.

"Everything's going to be fine, you'll see."

Merlin cast the spell and Gwen aged before her eyes. When the enchantment was complete she was shocked. No one would recognize Gwen, that was for sure.

"How do I look?" she asked. Merlin smiled.

"Nothing like yourself. Put the clothes on over yours. Gaius will meet you upstairs to give you the poultice. You know what to do after that. Once Uther orders your execution they will bring you down here. I'll knock out the guards and cast the counter-spell. After that you'll have to hurry and change and get out of sight. As soon as you can you're to get out of the dungeon and go back to Gaius' chambers."

Gwen nodded and reached back through the bars to squeeze Merlin's hand. Merlin gave her a reassuring smile, and then she was gone.

/

The plan worked like a dream. Uther was furious that they'd let the "sorceress" get away, but he'd still released Merlin under a full pardon. Arthur came running when he found out.

"I can't believe I almost lost you again." he breathed into her hair while he wrapped her in his arms.

"You should know by now that you can't get rid of me that easily."

"Well, for that I'm eternally grateful."

He kissed her then as if she was the air he breathed and Merlin melted into it. She spent that night in Arthur's bed where he traced every inch of her with his fingertips and lips as he whispered, "Don't ever leave me."

"I won't." was her constant reply.

/

The tournament the following month brought a flood of visitors into the city. Merlin had never seen it so packed. She understood when she learned that anyone could compete and there were no rules. It was no wonder Arthur was so excited about. Well, he was until he learned that his father was also planning to fight. That frustrated him, but Merlin was more focused on one of the other competitors. His name was Gilli, and he was surpassing everyone's expectations by winning round after round. Of course, he had a secret weapon that Merlin eventually discovered. He had magic. She tried to get him to pull out of the tournament when he started using it to really hurt people, but he wouldn't listen to her.

"People are finally giving me respect. You don't know what that's like for me." he said when Merlin cornered him in the inn.

"I do." she insisted.

"No you don't. No one does."

Merlin shook her head. There was no way he was going to listen to her unless he knew that they were actually the same. She closed the door and then whispered a spell into her palm.

"It's lonely to be more powerful than anyone you know and have to live like a shadow. To be special and have to pretend you're a fool. I know how it feels. I understand."

Merlin could see that Gilli was shocked to discover that Merlin too had magic, but he still didn't want to listen to her.

"Then you must understand why I have to fight. If Uther is killed, so what? How many of our kind have died at his hands? How many more will? It's time that those of us with magic fought back."

Merlin shook her head.

"No. You need to learn to use your magic for good. That is its true purpose. It's not to be used for your own vanity."

"You can't tell me what to do! I'm not going to apologize for who I am! You can be a servant and pretend that you're less than them, but I refuse to!"

Merlin shook her head.

"That's not what I do!"

Gilli threw his arms in the air.

"No? You're defending the king! You're protecting a man that would have you dead."

Gilli wasn't listening to her. He didn't understand.

"I'm protecting you!" she pressed, but he couldn't hear her.

"Merlin, you've been pretending for so long now that you've actually forgotten who you are. It's time someone struck a blow for the likes of you and me, and if you're too weak to do it, then I will."

He left before Merlin could say anything else.

/

Merlin had to use some of her own magic to make sure that Gilli didn't kill Uther in the final round, and because of that he lost.

"You betrayed your kind." he told her. Merlin wouldn't have it.

"No, that was you. You'd won, but you were going to kill the king anyway? There's no honor in that. You're better than this, Gilli. Magic is not meant for fighting or to bring you glory."

Gilli nodded. He finally understood.

"I see now that you're not weak, Merlin. You know that magic can corrupt, and because of that you choose only to use it when it's necessary. You are stronger than I am. I'm sorry."

Merlin gave him a smile.

"I know that you can't see it now, but one day magic will be permitted once again. When that day arrives, neither of us will have to hide. We'll be free. Maybe then our paths will cross again."

"I hope so."

Merlin watched him go and felt glad that another of her kin was allowed to live.

/

For nearly three months Camelot enjoyed peace. It was relaxing, if not more than a little boring. Even so, Merlin couldn't help but feel like a great storm was brewing. The clouds came rolling in when a patrol from the city was slaughtered. Neither Uther nor Arthur could fathom how they had been so easily taken, but when Sir Leon, who should have died with the rest of his comrades, returned to Camelot without a scratch on him the king determined he had bigger things to worry about. The Druids had cured Leon with the help of the Cup of Life, and Uther was determined to take it from them. He ordered Arthur to go after the Cup and to only take with him a person who had his absolute trust. Well, that was an easy choice, and soon Merlin and Arthur were riding as fast as their horses would carry them from the city.

/

Merlin knew that the mission was not going to go smoothly. It never did where Arthur was concerned, so she couldn't say she was all that surprised when she felt a sting in her neck right before darkness claimed her. When she woke up she was tied and on a cold stone floor. She could hear lots of voices, and for a moment she couldn't understand them. When she did, Merlin froze in terror.

"She's not hard on the eyes. We could keep her for ourselves. It'd be nice to have a warm body around to take our pleasure from." a deep voice said.

"Indeed. It gets rather cold during the winter. Something soft and warm to snuggle up to would be good indeed." a higher baritone added.

Someone else laughed.

"And you think you could share? I know you men better than that. She'd be dead by the end of the week. No, we'll sell her and make a nice bit of profit. Women always take a higher price than men."

The last man that spoke walked over to Merlin and slapped her. She gasped as the abrupt pain bloomed across her face.

"Wake up, girl! We can't have you sleeping all day."

He dragged her up and Merlin stood on wobbly legs. The man cupped a hand around the back of her neck and made her walk forward.

"Wait, Jarl! If we can't keep her, can't we at least have a chance to see what we're giving up?" one of the men asked with a lewd smile. The others gathered around him nodded in agreement. Jarl, who was the man holding her and obviously their leader, thought it over and then relented.

"I suppose we can all have a quick look."

He drew a knife and cut down the front of her dress. Once that was done, he dragged her skirt up and slashed at the fabric until it fell away leaving everything from her mid-thigh down bare. Jarl tossed his knife to one of his men and then pulled the front of her dress open. Merlin tried to stop him, but he just grabbed her arms. When her breasts were exposed Merlin blushed in shame and embarrassment, but the men all cheered.

"She's a right pretty one, she is!" one of them said as they pointed to her. Jarl smiled.

"That she is, and she'll fetch a pretty penny too!" he said. He let her dress fall closed once again and then pushed her forward. His hand went back to her neck and he guided her away from the men and through a series of twisting corridors. Merlin heard shouting, and it didn't take long for her to realize that they were heading in the direction of the noise. In the next instant, she recognized the voice as Arthur's.

"Arthur!" she called, but Jarl squeezed her throat cutting off her air.

"You be quiet!" he hissed in her ear. They walked into a large room and to the edge of a pit. The pit was filled with men, and among them was Arthur. Merlin was also surprised to see Gwaine standing next to him.

"What have you done to, Merlin?" Arthur yelled in fury when he saw the state of her clothing and the way Jarl was holding her.

"Is that her name?" Jarl asked.

"Release her!" Arthur yelled once again as he tried to climb the wall of the pit. Gwaine tried to hold him back, but Arthur pushed him off.

"Well, this is an interesting turn of events. I'll make you a deal. If you can beat my champion in a duel then you and the girl are free to go. If you lose, then I'll make you watch as I take my pleasure from her and then slit her throat. How's that sound?"

Arthur was shaking and Merlin could see the fire in his eyes.

"There will be nothing left of your _champion_ by the time I'm done with him." he hissed.

"We'll see about that. Are you ready, my champion?" Jarl asked.

Merlin's eyes widened when Gwaine looked up and said, "I am."

/

Arthur and Gwaine fought, and even though Merlin knew that neither of them would hurt the other, she couldn't help but feel like at certain moments the fight was real. Eventually, whatever plan they had worked out failed them, and Merlin had to use her magic to ensure that all three of them made it out of the castle alive. When they were free and had made it to the forest, Arthur slung his vest over Merlin's shoulders. He set to work fastening it, but Merlin could still see the tension that had not left his muscles. When she was as covered as she was going to get, Arthur stepped back.

"Did they hurt you?" he demanded, but Merlin knew what he really meant. He wanted to know if she'd been violated.

"No. I'm still intact. They did nothing but put me on display."

Some of the tension left Arthur's shoulders, but Merlin could still see the shame in his eyes that he couldn't protect her better. Merlin had almost forgotten that Gwaine was with them until she felt his hand on her shoulder. She had just begun to turn toward him when Arthur wrenched Gwaine's hand away from her and backed him up against a tree with his forearm at his throat.

"Don't touch her!" he hissed. Gwaine's eyes were wide in shock. Merlin ran forward and tried to pull Arthur away from him.

"Stop it! Arthur, he's our friend!" she cried. Gwaine raised his hands slowly in a move of surrender.

"I didn't mean any offense. I was just trying to comfort her."

Arthur released him and shook his head. He pinched the bridge of his nose and said, "I know. I'm sorry."

Gwaine smiled.

"It's alright. I wasn't thinking. I'll keep my hands to myself, shall I?"

There were a few tense moments of silence, and then Arthur smiled.

"See that you do, or I may have to kill you."

Gwaine laughed.

"You couldn't kill me even if you wanted to. You tried, remember, back in the arena."

Arthur shook his head.

"That was just a game. I wasn't really trying."

Gwaine raised an eyebrow.

"A game, was it? I won that game."

Arthur crossed his arms over his chest.

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did. I had you banged to rights."

Merlin couldn't listen to anymore of this.

"Would you both stop it? Neither of you won. Your plan was a half-baked disaster, and if it weren't for that fire then we'd all be pushing up daisies. So, instead of standing here arguing, why don't we get back to what we set out to do?"

Both Arthur and Gwaine turned to look at her with shocked expressions. It wasn't every day that Merlin lost control. Gwaine recovered first.

"And what did you set out to do?"

"We're looking for the Cup of Life."

Arthur lightly shoved her.

"What part of secret don't you understand?"

Merlin just shrugged.

"It's Gwaine. He can help us, and let's face it, Arthur, we need help."

Arthur turned to look back at Gwaine and found that he couldn't argue with Merlin's point.

/

It didn't take them too much longer to find the Druid cave and collect the Cup. Merlin also got herself more suitable clothing. While on their way back to Camelot, they were attacked by Cenred's men and lost the cup. Arthur was injured, and Merlin spent the night ensuring that he didn't die from the poison the arrow that struck his leg was laced with.

"We need more firewood." she finally said when Arthur started getting tremors.

"You're right about that." Gwaine responded.

"Would you like to go and get some?"

Gwaine shook his head.

"No, but that's for asking."

Merlin was about to say something else when Gwaine smiled.

"Come on, Merlin. Don't you know when someone is joking with you?"

He took up his sword and got to his feet.

"If I die collecting firewood, keep it to yourself would you? I've got my reputation to consider."

Merlin waited until she was sure he was gone, and then she tried out a few spells on Arthur. None of them helped.

"Come on, Arthur. Come on!" she whispered desperately, but the prince just continued to shake while his fever raged.

"Now is not the time to be a stubborn prat. I need you to recover." she pressed, but still nothing happened. Merlin arranged Arthur so that his head was pillowed in her lap and she ran her fingers through his hair. That's how Gwaine found them when he returned with more wood.

"He'll be alright, you know. There's no need to cry." he said softly. Merlin looked up at him and raised a hand to her cheek. She was surprised when her fingers came away wet. Gwaine came and sat beside her. After a moment he wrapped an arm across her shoulders and she leant into his side.

"If the poison doesn't kill him, then his fever will if it doesn't break soon." she whispered, and Gwaine held her closer.

"If there's one thing that I've learned about Prince Arthur, it's that he doesn't go down without a fight. He'd never let something as small as this be the death of him. When he dies it'll be after he's been king for many years. He'll have married a good woman and had lots of children. He'll go down like the knight that he is, with a sword in his hand."

Merlin huffed out a laugh and smiled.

"That's the way he would want it."

"And Arthur always gets what he wants. He's lucky that way."

Gwaine pressed a kiss to the top of Merlin's head. Merlin shook her head and pulled away from him.

"Gwaine…"

"I know. I just couldn't help myself. It won't happen again."

Merlin shook her head.

"Why does this always happen to me?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

Merlin looked at him.

"You're not the first man to love me who I couldn't love back. My best friend from my childhood, Will, also loved me. He died a few years ago to save Arthur, but now there's you. It makes me feel terrible."

"Don't feel terrible. There's nothing to feel terrible about."

Merlin shook her head.

"But I don't understand. Why me? I'm clumsy, uncoordinated, and hopelessly useless when it comes to most things. Why would any man love me, much less three of them?"

Gwaine smiled.

"Did you ever think that it's _because_ you're all of those things and more? You're not perfect, Merlin, but then who is? Yeah, you've got some faults, but there's more to you than that. You've got a fire in you that I've never seen. You're not afraid to do what's right, even if others think it's wrong. You put yourself in danger to help those you care about without a thought to what might happen to you. You're the most amazing person I know. How could I not love you?"

Merlin shook her head to try and clear away the tears that were threatening to fall from Gwaine's words.

"You're going to be the best queen anyone has ever known."

Merlin smiled and looked down at Arthur. His tremors had stopped.

"Well, if and when I am queen, I hope I will see you find a woman more worthy of your love than I am."

Gwaine laughed.

"The chances of that happening are slim to none, but I kind of like the look of those odds."

/

Arthur woke up the next morning and was furious to learn that they'd lost the Cup. All three of them set off back for Camelot, but they were too late. Morgause and her army of immortals had taken the city. They found Elyan hiding at Gwen's and Gaius hiding in his chambers. Arthur wanted to find his father, so he and Merlin set off to do that. They found him just in time to watch as he was thrown to his knees before Morgana, who was then crowned Queen of Camelot. Now Arthur knew who she really was; his half-sister who had been plotting to take his kingdom.

/

Arthur, Merlin, Gwaine, Elyan, and Gaius retreated to the woods where Arthur knew of some caves where they would be safe. For a while Arthur just sat in a state of depression over the betrayal of Morgana, but Merlin finally managed to pull him out of it. They were going to fight to reclaim the kingdom. Merlin sent word out to Lancelot because she knew they were going to need all the help they could get. He came, along with another man named Percival, to join them. Gwen and Sir Leon managed to escape the city and also joined them. Merlin knew that even with the extra men, they would need magic to take back the city. She used the water of Avalon that the Fisher King had given her. Freya appeared in it and told her that she would need Excalibur if they were going to win. Merlin set out to retrieve the sword, and when she had it, Arthur moved everyone to the Castle of the Ancient Kings. There, Merlin witnessed Arthur knight Gwaine, Lancelot, Elyan, and Percival. If they were going to fight, they were going to fight as men of Camelot; members of the most noble army the world had ever known.

/

The next day they all prepared to leave and Arthur approached her.

"I would tell you to stay here with Gwen and Gaius, but I know you better than that."

Merlin smiled.

"I'm going with Lancelot to take out the warning bell. He'll keep me safe."

Arthur nodded, and then he cupped her cheek. Merlin glanced over at the group and caught sight of Lancelot talking to Gwen a little ways away from the others.

"They'll see." she told Arthur.

"I don't care. I want you to know that if I never see you again…"

Merlin shook her head.

"You will, Arthur."

"Let me finish, Merlin." he pressed and she fell silent.

"If I never see you again after today then I want you to know how much you mean to me. You're everything, Merlin. Nothing else could ever hope to compare. I love you."

Merlin nodded.

"And I love you more than anything else I know, but more than that I'm _proud_ of you, Arthur. I'm proud to call you my prince, and when we win this battle and we take back Camelot one day I will be proud to call you my king."

Arthur kissed her and she kissed him back fiercely. It only lasted a moment before she heard Gwaine say, "Do any of you other lads feel left out here?"

Merlin pulled away from Arthur to see that Gwen and Lancelot had had their own private moment. Gwen was blushing darker than Merlin had ever seen her and it made her laugh. Arthur smiled and turned to his men. He raised his sword and said, "For the love of Camelot!"

"For the love of Camelot!" everyone echoed, and then they were off.

/

The battle was long and tiring. At one moment Merlin seriously doubted that they'd get out alive, but then Gaius showed up and the tables turned. He was able to distract Morgause long enough for Merlin to spill the blood in the Cup of Life. That action destroyed the army of immortals, and it was easy after that. Morgana came in to see Morgause injured on the floor from where Merlin had used her magic to throw her.

"It's over, Morgana."

Morgana gathered Morgause into her arms and said, "No. It's just the beginning."

She screamed and the castle began to crumble around her. Merlin, Gaius, and Lancelot got out before any debris could crush them. After everything settled, they tried to search for Morgana, but there was no sign of her or Morgause anywhere. They'd escaped again.

The days following the reclaiming of the city were hard. The people were overjoyed to see that Arthur had once again saved them, and they returned to their homes with smiles on their faces in the knowledge that they were safe once again. Uther was not adjusting so well. He had locked himself in his chambers and would not see anyone. Merlin asked about him as she and Arthur sat on the steps of the castle.

"I don't know how he is. This whole thing as hit him hard."

Merlin nodded.

"Perhaps we're heading for a new time. Camelot needs a leader. You might have to step up and become king."

Arthur glanced over at her and said, "Who knows what the future will bring."

Then he leaned over and kissed her for everyone in the courtyard to see. Obviously, things were going to change in their future. Merlin turned away at the sound of hoof beats. She looked up to see Gwaine, Lancelot, Percival, Elyan, and Leon ride up in full knight armor proudly wearing the Pendragon colors. Gwen was among them riding next to Lancelot. She smiled at the sight, and Arthur did the same. He stood to greet them, and Merlin slipped away. There was something she had to do. Quickly retrieving Excalibur from her room, she took it out to the woods and thrust it into a stone. There it would be safe and wouldn't fall into the wrong hands. Things were changing. A new era was beginning and perhaps they would have need of the sword once again, but for now it would rest. When she made it back to the city Arthur wrapped her in his arms and escorted her away. Merlin ended her fourth year in Camelot with a smile on her face and hope in her heart.


	5. Eternity

A/N: Well, here it is. This is the final chapter! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this. It really means a lot to me. I hope you like the ending and as always, feel free to review.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

/

For nearly a week after Camelot had been reclaimed from Morgana, Uther refused to leave his chambers. The king had barricaded himself inside and wouldn't even let a servant come in to serve him food. On the seventh day, Arthur had had enough. He, with the help of a few knights, broke down the king's door. Uther was sitting in a corner of the room with his crown at his feet.

"Leave us." Arthur said when he caught sight of his father. The knights nodded in understanding and left the two men alone. Arthur approached the king slowly.

"Father. You can't keep doing this. You've run out of water and you haven't eaten in days. If you keep this up you're going to die." he said softly as he knelt in front of the older man. Arthur tried to pick up the crown, but Uther grasped his wrist in a weak hold.

"Don't." His voice broke on the word. It had been so long since he'd last spoken, and Arthur shook his head.

"Father, you're the king. The people…"

Uther interrupted him when he said, "The people don't need me. I failed them."

"No, Father. You did all you could. The army was made up of immortal men."

Uther looked up and met his son's gaze for the first time.

"You defeated them. You reclaimed this kingdom with only a handful of men. Why would the people want me when you can protect them better than I can?"

Arthur could feel tears building up in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He would not cry in front of his father.

"I'm not the king." he stated.

"You should be. You've proven without a doubt that you are ready. You don't need me anymore. No one does."

Arthur shook his head fiercely.

"That's not true!"

Uther gave him a small, sad smile.

"It is. I've done all I can for you and for this kingdom. Leave me be."

Arthur grasped his father's forearm in a tight grip.

"I won't sit by and let you starve yourself to death. I _won't_, Father."

Uther laid his hand over Arthur's and squeezed it gently.

"Consider it my last order as your father and your king."

"No! I refuse!"

Uther cupped Arthur's cheek and the prince realized his father's hands were shaking.

"You mean everything to me, and I'm so proud of you. I couldn't have wished for a better son. You will be a greater king than I ever was."

Arthur shook his head, but Uther just pushed him away.

"Please, Arthur. Leave me."

"Father…"

"Go. That's an order."

Arthur stood up. He knew he'd lost. Before he turned he looked down at his father and sighed. Still fighting back tears he said, "I…I love you, Father. I won't let you down."

Arthur turned and walked quickly from the room. Even still, he heard Uther whisper, "You never could."

/

Merlin was waiting for Arthur when he returned from seeing his father. She only had to look at him before he broke down. Merlin was at his side in an instant.

"He's ordered me to let him die." Arthur said after a few moments.

"He can't expect you to do that!" Merlin insisted, but Arthur just shook his head.

"He can and he does. I can send him all the food and water the kitchens can spare, but I can't make him eat or drink. I have no choice but to watch him waste away."

Merlin hugged Arthur closer. It was all she could do for him.

/

Five days later Gaius came to Arthur to tell him that Uther had passed. His only response was to order that the black flags be flown and that wood for the funeral pyre be cut. Merlin wanted to wrap her arms around him and show him that she wasn't going anywhere, but a familiar voice in her head changed her plans. She left the castle and went out into a clearing in the forest to meet the dragon.

"Whatever it is you want, make it fast. I need to be with Arthur right now."

"Indeed, for he is now King of Camelot. You've done well, young witch, but there is one more thing you must do."

Merlin crossed her arms over her chest.

"And what is that?"

Kilgharrah leaned closer to her.

"You must reveal who you truly are to Arthur, and you must do it tonight."

Merlin's arms dropped back to her sides.

"I can't. Arthur just lost his father; I can't throw this at him too. I'll tell him, but not today."

"You must! Arthur must know you for who you are before he is crowned. It is imperative that you tell him today."

Merlin shook her head. She didn't understand.

"Why?"

Kilgharrah sighed.

"Because he blames magic for Uther's death. In his eyes, if Morgana and Morgause's army had not been enchanted to be immortal, then Uther would have been able to fight them off and protect Camelot. It was magic that made him helpless, and it was his helplessness that brought him to his death. Arthur needs to see that magic is not always evil if his heart is to remain open to it. You must show him."

"I _can't_! Not yet."

"If you want to succeed in your destiny, then you must. If Arthur does not know that the one he loves has magic before he becomes king, then he will never let magic back into this land and he will never unite Albion."

"Why can't you ever ask me to do something easy?"

"Because it is only the things that are difficult to do that are truly worth doing."

/

When Merlin returned to her room she saw an elegant gown laid across her bed. It was a deep red color with gold piping at the neckline, sleeves, and hem and gold laces on the bodice. It was worthy of a queen.

"Arthur brought it for you. He asked the seamstresses to make it days ago. He wants you to wear it tonight for the funeral." Gaius said quietly from behind her. Merlin trailed her fingers over the silky material and turned to look at her guardian.

"It's his colors."

Gaius nodded.

"It's meant to be a statement. You'll stand at his right side in his colors tonight, and all of Camelot will know that you are his."

Merlin gave him a small smile.

"But for how long?"

"What do you mean?"

Merlin sat down on her bed beside the gown.

"The Great Dragon called me. He says I have to tell Arthur who I really am tonight before he's crowned. If I don't, then Arthur's heart will forever be closed against magic."

Merlin heard Gaius gasp, but she didn't look up. She still didn't when she felt his hand settle on top of her head.

"Everything will be fine, my girl. You knew you would have to tell him eventually."

"But not on the same day he lost his father. If he already blames magic for Uther's death, then how is he going to react when he finds out that the person he loves and trusts more than anyone was born with it?"

Gaius tilted her head up and made her meet his gaze.

"I don't know, but I _do_ know that he loves you. You mean everything to Arthur and he won't give you up. Not for magic, not for anything."

"How can you be so sure?"

Gaius smiled.

"I just am. You trust him, don't you?"

Merlin didn't hesitate before she said, "With my life."

"Then do what the Dragon said. If you trust Arthur with your life, then trust him with everything that you are."

Gaius left her alone to prepare for the funeral. Merlin slipped out of her clothes and picked up the gown Arthur had made for her. When she slipped it on it fit her like a glove. She was about to put a braid in her hair when she remembered that Arthur liked it better when it was loose. She gathered a few pieces and pinned them back, but left the rest. When she looked at herself in her small mirror she couldn't help but think that she looked like a princess.

/

The whole city came to watch Arthur light Uther's pyre. When he stepped back Merlin could see that his eyes were glued to his father's face. Just before the flames reached it, Merlin took his hand. He squeezed her hand hard, but didn't turn to look at her. He watched as his father's body was consumed with a blank face. When there was nothing left but glowing embers, Merlin tugged his hand. They were alone in the courtyard now. Everyone had gone home or to make preparations for the ceremony in the morning where Arthur would be crowned King of Camelot. It was time.

"Arthur, come with me."

He finally turned to her.

"Where are we going?"

"I need to show you something."

She led him away from the city and into the forest. If Arthur wondered where she was taking him, he didn't ask. Finally, Merlin came to the place where she'd thrust Excalibur into the stone.

"What is that?" Arthur asked when Merlin had released his hand.

"That is Excalibur. It is a sword that was forged in the Dragon's breath for the King of Camelot."

Arthur took a step back.

"It's magic?"

Merlin nodded.

"Then it can stay where it is." Arthur spat. He moved to drag her away, but Merlin shook him off.

"The sword isn't all I wanted to show you."

She backed away from him and raised her arms in the air. After taking a deep breath to steel herself, she let her magic out and called lightning from the clear night sky. It struck around them and caused flames to appear in a perfect circle that encompassed Merlin, Arthur, and Excalibur. Merlin opened her eyes to see Arthur looking around frantically. She waited until he was looking right at her before she whispered a spell that caused the sparks from the fire to gather and form the Pendragon crest between them. Then, with a wave of her hand the flames went out and all that was left was the glowing mark of Arthur's house.

"I was born with magic, Arthur. The Druids call me Emrys, and they claim that I am magic incarnate. It is my destiny to protect you and see you become king, and that's all I've ever tried to do. Everything that I am, everything that I can do, is only to serve you."

Arthur was shaking, but Merlin couldn't see his eyes in the dim light. With another deep breath, she got down on her knees before him and bowed her head.

"You are everything to me. I love you, Arthur, and I never wanted to hurt you. I should have told you who I was years ago, but it wasn't the right time. It had to be now. You have a choice to make. You can draw the sword at your side and kill me. I wouldn't stop you. Or, you can draw Excalibur from the stone and embrace your destiny. It is written that you will be the greatest king this land has ever known; that your name will be remembered until the end of time. I believe in that. I believe in you. You are the reason I have my gifts. You are the reason I was born. Make your choice, Arthur."

It was silent for what seemed like an eternity. It seemed even the creatures in the forest were waiting to see what Arthur would do. Finally, Merlin heard footsteps. The sound of a sword being drawn echoed around them and Merlin tensed. When Arthur's sword landed in front of her, she finally looked up. Arthur was standing a few feet in front of her and staring at the crest.

"I have so many questions, Merlin, and I expect to get honest answers to all of them. I'm confused and hurt and a little betrayed, but most of all I'm angry. I'm angry with myself for never seeing it, and I'm angry with you for lying. I'm angry that such a large part of you was kept hidden from me when nothing about me was kept from you. But the thing that I'm most angry about is the fact that you thought for _one moment_ that I could kill you. You gave me a choice, Merlin, when there _is_ no choice. I would rather cut out my own heart than harm one hair on your head."

Merlin's breath caught in her throat as she watched Arthur walk up to the stone and grip Excalibur. He didn't hesitate before he pulled the sword smoothly out of the stone. When he turned toward her with it in his hand, his crest dissolved and he crossed the space between them in four strides. He extended his free hand to her and she grasped it for the lifeline that it was. When Merlin was standing again Arthur wrapped his arm around her and pulled her to his chest.

"You may be the biggest idiot in the entire world, but I still love you. I love everything about you, and if you're magic, then I guess I love magic. I don't want to spend one day without you by my side, Merlin."

Arthur stepped away from her and put Excalibur in the sheath at his side. His other sword laid forgotten on the forest floor. Once the blade was secure, Arthur got down on one knee and pulled a ring from the pocket of his jacket.

"I planned on doing this tomorrow after I was crowned, but now is as good a time as any. I told you once that when I was king you would take your place on the throne beside me, and I still want that more than anything. Merlin, would you do me the great honor of becoming my wife and Queen?"

Merlin smiled bigger than she ever had as she said, "Yes. You know I will, you prat."

Arthur slipped the ring on her finger and then stood up to kiss her. When they pulled apart Merlin looked down at the ring. It was gold and had the Pendragon crest etched on it.

"It was the ring my father gave to my mother when they were married. I thought it was fitting that you should wear it now." Arthur whispered.

"I love it. Thank you."

Arthur kissed her again and smiled against her lips.

/

The following morning Arthur was officially crowned King of Camelot. Merlin stood in the first row wearing yet another dress that Arthur had made for her. This one was crème colored but had red and gold embroidery along the bottom hem and on the bodice. Gwen and Hunith, who had arrived early that morning after Gaius had written to her, had helped her with her hair and it was elegantly done up with crystal pins and flowers. Merlin was a vision. Arthur was in his chainmail and cape, but Excalibur was at his side and he was wearing new trousers and boots.

As soon as he stood wearing his new crown, the room erupted in applause. He allowed it for a moment and then he held up a hand to silence everyone.

"I can't tell you how honored I am to be your king. I swear to you all that I will always protect Camelot and her people, but I can't do that alone. I'll need the help of someone very dear to me, someone that has never left my side even when I ordered her away. I'll need the help of my Queen."

Arthur held his hand out to Merlin and she stepped forward. Merlin heard everyone in the room begin to whisper, but when she looked at everyone she saw that they all wore smiles. Arthur kissed her hand and then got down on one knee again. He had to propose before the court.

"Merlin, will you marry me?"

Merlin smiled and said, "Yes."

When he stood up Geoffrey stepped forward once again, this time with a length of cloth in his hands. Arthur had apparently told him of his plans so the old man could come prepared. Geoffrey performed the ceremony making Arthur and Merlin husband and wife, and then Arthur himself crowned her Queen of Camelot. When Merlin finally sat in her throne for the first time she sought out her mother's eyes. Hunith was standing between Gwen and Gaius and gripping their hands as tears fell down her cheeks, but she was smiling like the sun itself. Merlin smiled back at her and then faced her people with Arthur at her side.

/

The feast that night was bigger and more joyous than any other that Merlin had ever attended. Even so, she couldn't wait to leave so that she and Arthur could be alone. Finally, just after midnight Arthur stood up to wish everyone a good night. He took Merlin's hand and they made their way out of the hall. Merlin purposely didn't meet Gwaine's eye when they passed him. He'd been smirking at her all night just to make her blush. When they finally got back to Arthur's chambers and he bolted the door, Merlin wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled.

"Alone at last."

Arthur smirked.

"Yes. And I can finally have you."

"Why are we wasting time talking?"

Arthur laughed as he said, "I don't know."

He leaned down and captured her lips in a passionate, possessive kiss that Merlin returned. Arthur didn't pull away, but he managed to pick her up and carry her to his bed. When he laid her on it and finally broke the kiss, Merlin giggled.

"I wasn't expecting that."

Arthur smirked.

"Humor me."

Merlin pulled him to her and kissed him again.

"Always." she whispered against his lips. When the kiss ended Arthur took his time removing her crown releasing her hair from its many pins. While he was busy with her hair, Merlin unclasped his cape and removed the crown on his head. She used magic to float both headpieces over to the table and Arthur stared when her eyes turned gold.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to that." he said.

"That's okay. I still haven't gotten used to the fact that I can do this." Merlin responded as she let her fingers trail down his body until they reached his groin. She smirked when she felt how hard he was.

"You're wearing too much." Arthur hissed.

"So are you."

They quickly fixed both of those problems and smiled when they were pressed against each other skin to skin.

"I want to feel you, Arthur." Merlin gasped when Arthur began trailing kisses down her body. He paid homage to her breasts while his hands worshiped her legs and thighs. When his fingers pushed into her, Merlin arched in pleasure. Arthur left her chest to suck kisses into her neck. Merlin ran her hands down his back, lightly dragging her nails and loved the feel of Arthur shuddering over her. She squeezed his ass and he groaned.

"Tease." he whispered in her ear.

"I learned from the best." she responded as he curled his fingers inside of her. At that, Merlin moaned his name and reached between them to fondle his cock. She began to stroke it with one hand while the other ran over his stomach and up to rub over his nipples. Arthur kissed her hard and then moved back. He placed her legs over his shoulders and kissed her right ankle before he lined himself up at her entrance.

"Ready?" he asked as he met her eyes. Merlin nodded and Arthur gently pushed into her. Merlin winced at the slight pain, but she refused to close her eyes. They stayed locked on Arthur's until he was fully seated within her. Then Arthur bowed his head and fought against the need to _move_. Merlin allowed herself a moment to adjust before she moved her hips to tell him that she was fine. Arthur looked back to her and the look in his eyes took her breath away. He leaned down and kissed her as he began to move.

"God, so good, Merlin." he groaned.

For Merlin, it was still relatively painful but she didn't want him to know that, so she nodded. Arthur saw what she was trying to hide, so he kissed her again and brought his hand down to where they were joined. He sought out the bundle of nerves that always brought her pleasure and began to stroke it. Merlin's back arched as she moaned out his name.

"Better?" Arthur asked.

"It wasn't bad before, but yes, it's better when you do that." Merlin gasped out. Arthur nodded and his fingers never left her as he continued to thrust into her. He gradually sped up, and as he started to go faster he also thrust into her deeper. Arthur shifted his hips before one thrust, and when he did he hit something in Merlin that made her scream.

"Yes!"

"Good?" Arthur panted.

"Yes, Arthur. Right there!"

Arthur nodded and made himself hit that spot every time. Merlin didn't know a person could feel so much pleasure. Between Arthur stroking her outside and thrusting against that spot within her, it didn't take long before Merlin was pushed over the edge.

"Arthur! _Arthur!_" she cried as she came. Arthur groaned above her as she clenched around him.

"God, Merlin!" he groaned as he worked her through her orgasm. When she was spent, he gripped her hips and let her legs fall until her feet were on the bed. Arthur thrust into her at a furious pace and within a few minutes Merlin felt him spill into her as her name left his lips through his clenched teeth. After he finished, Arthur gently pulled out of her and then gathered her into his arms. Pulling the blankets over them, he whispered in her ear, "I love you."

Merlin smiled and snuggled against him.

"I love you too."

/

Things changed rather quickly after that. Merlin was moved into the rooms that were next to Arthur's and her wardrobe was filled with nice gowns and leather britches and silk riding shirts and fur-lined cloaks. She was given a coronet to go with her crown, and so many pairs of shoes and slippers she didn't know what to do with herself. Arthur just laughed at her when she complained.

Hunith stayed in Camelot. She wanted to take Merlin's old room, but Merlin wouldn't let her. The queen's mother was to get her own chambers, but Hunith would not accept a servant. That was something she would not budge on. Merlin couldn't say anything, as she too had refused a servant, and Arthur himself hadn't hired another one. Merlin still did most everything for him.

Gwen and Lancelot got married only a month after Merlin and Arthur, and they both attended the ceremony. It was obvious that Gwen had never been happier, and Merlin couldn't help but cry as she pulled her into a hug.

"I'm so happy for you!" Merlin told her as she stepped back.

"Thank you. I'm happy too."

They both laughed, and that made Arthur and Lancelot look over from where they had been talking. They just shook their heads at them and went back to talking.

/

Princess Elena came back to Camelot the next year. Her father was ill and so could not accompany her, but Arthur was happy to see her again all the same. Even Merlin was pleased to have her in the castle. When Elena rode up on horseback instead of in a carriage Merlin knew that they were going to get along.

"Hello Elena! It's good to see you again. I'm sorry to hear about your father." Arthur said as he helped her off the horse.

"Yes, thank you. He sends his regards. We both wanted to come as soon as we heard about your father, but he took ill just before that and wasn't up to the trip. We tried to wait until he was well again, but I fear that will never happen. He sent me because it would not do to wait any longer for us to acknowledge the new King and Queen." she said looking between Arthur and Merlin.

Arthur waved her off.

"We understand. We heard word of his illness a while ago. I'm sorry to hear that he's not recovering."

Elena gave him a small smile.

"Thank you for your concern, but he's lived a good life. He's content with how things are."

Merlin stepped forward and took her hands.

"Even so, you are always welcome here and if there's anything we can do to help you don't hesitate to ask."

Elena smiled at her and squeezed her hands.

"You always were too good, your highness."

Merlin giggled.

"Just Merlin, please."

Elena's visit was wonderful. She really was very charming without a fairy inside of her. Arthur even took her up on her offer of another horse race, and had to swallow his pride when he was beaten soundly. The best part about Elena's time in Camelot was the way she stole Gwaine's heart. He was lost as soon as he saw her, and it didn't take her long to return his affection. When word came that her father had passed and she was needed at home, Gwaine was more than a little upset. He made her promise that she would return when everything was settled at her estate, and Merlin knew that it was a promise she had every intention of keeping.

/

Late in Merlin's sixth year in Camelot, Gwen gave birth to a set of beautiful twin girls. Merlin had held her hand throughout the labor and cried with her and Lancelot when the girls were proclaimed perfect and healthy. Arthur came down the next day to offer his congratulations and give both the new parents a hug.

That same year, Gwaine found himself proposing to Elena. They were married and left the city to live on Elena's family's estate. Merlin was sad to see him go, but knew that it was for the best. He and Elena were happy and Merlin couldn't wish more for them. Gwaine said he'd always come when Arthur called, and Arthur said that he would remember that. The two of them rode out of the city at dawn one morning as Merlin watched from Arthur's window. She didn't get to watch for long before Arthur caught her around the waist and pulled her back to bed.

/

In the seventh year, Merlin herself became pregnant. Arthur and the rest of the court were thrilled. Hunith and Gaius had constant smiles on their faces, and Merlin herself had never been happier. Her pregnancy passed by in what seemed like a blink of an eye, and before she knew it the time had come to deliver her baby.

"Arthur!" she screamed when she woke up to find her water broken and contractions wracking through her. He was awake in an instant and lighting candles. When there was enough light he kissed her hand and ran out the door to get Gaius and her mother. When he came back he asked them to wait outside for a moment.

"Merlin, promise me something." Arthur asked desperately as he knelt at her bedside.

"Anything." Merlin panted as another contraction hit her.

"Promise me you'll survive this."

Merlin looked over and saw that Arthur's eyes were filled with terror and he was shaking. He really thought he might lose her.

"I promise, Arthur. I'm not going anywhere."

Arthur nodded and stood up so that he could kiss her. When he pulled back he called for Gaius and Hunith to enter. The labor seemed to last forever, and it was well past dawn before Merlin heard her child's first cry.

"It's a boy!" Gaius called as he handed the baby to Hunith to clean after severing the cord.

Merlin smiled tiredly as Arthur kissed her before getting up to look at his son. Hunith cleaned him and then wrapped him in a silk sheet before handing him to Arthur. Merlin cried as she watched Arthur look at their son for the first time.

"He's perfect." he whispered as he handed the tiny bundle to Merlin. She looked into her son's face and cried some more.

"He looks just like his father."

Arthur climbed back onto the bed and wrapped Merlin in his arms. Gaius and Hunith left to give them some privacy.

"What are we going to name him?" Merlin whispered.

Arthur stared at the baby for a moment and then said, "What do you think about Bradyn?"

Merlin thought it over and smiled.

"Prince Bradyn Pendragon. I like it."

"Yeah?"

Merlin kissed him and nodded.

"Bradyn it is then." Arthur said as he cupped his son's head.

/

The eighth, ninth, and tenth year were spent fighting wars, but it was worth it when Arthur came away victorious. He had finally united Albion and brought magic back to the land. It had been welcome in Camelot since his first year as king, but now it was free to be used across the entire land. His destiny had finally been completed.

/

Years of peace passed. The people prospered and enjoyed the safety that Arthur gave them. It was obvious that they loved their king.

Bradyn got a little sister when he was five and her name was Ava. She looked like her mother, and like her mother and brother before her, she had magic. Arthur had been nervous when Bradyn started moving things when he was only three months old, but when Ava did it he just laughed and said, "Figures."

Not long after Ava was born Gaius passed away. He went in his sleep warm in his bed, and Merlin knew that it had just been his time. The man had been very old, but Merlin was still inconsolable for three days after his death. It was like losing her father all over again. Arthur made sure that Gaius was given every honor during his funeral, and Merlin thanked him for it over and over again. When he was gone, Hunith took over as the physician. Gaius had been teaching her since she arrived, and she had more of a knack for it than Merlin ever did.

/

Morgana showed herself again shortly after Bradyn's fifteenth birthday. In her time away she had been studying magic and festering in her hatred. When she appeared in Camelot's throne room Arthur tried to talk to her, but she would not listen. Morgana said that her army would arrive at dawn and if Arthur would not fight, then he and all of his people would die.

The next day, Arthur put on his armor and Merlin stood at his side when he walked out to the knights. Gwaine had ridden through the night and was in the front row with Elyan, Lancelot, Percival, and Leon. He nodded to Merlin when she passed with Arthur, and she gave him a smile in return.

The battle lasted through the night. It looked like Arthur would win, but then Mordred stepped forward to fight him. Morgana had been slain and Mordred stepped over her body to get to Arthur. When Merlin saw him the words that the Dragon had told her so long ago rang in her ears.

"_He will be the death of Arthur."_

Merlin tried to stop him, but Arthur drew Excalibur once again and began to fight the person he had once saved. Mordred was skilled with a blade, but he was no match for Arthur. In only a few minutes, Arthur thrust Excalibur through Mordred's chest and watched as the young man fell to his knees before him. Merlin felt like she could breathe again, but in a split second that changed. Mordred raised his hand with the last of his strength and summoned Morgana's sword from where it still lay next to her body. Merlin couldn't stop it before it pierced Arthur's back and ran him through. Mordred died with a smile on his face knowing that Arthur would die with him.

"Arthur!" Merlin screamed as she caught him before he could fall. She pulled the sword from his back and held him to her as she collapsed.

"Merlin, don't waste your magic on me. I can't be saved." Arthur gasped out as blood poured from his wound.

"No, you'll be fine, Arthur. You'll be _fine_!"

Arthur brushed the hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear before leaning up to kiss her.

"I thought we said we wouldn't lie to each other anymore."

Merlin shook her head.

"You can't die."

Arthur smirked.

"I think you'll find I can."

Merlin pressed her forehead against his.

"I don't _want_ you to die."

"And I don't want to leave you, or Bradyn, or Ava, but it looks like I don't have a choice."

Merlin choked out a sob. She whispered a spell and when she looked up again she and Arthur were no longer on the battlefield, but on the shores of the Lake of Avalon. With another spell, the gate appeared and Merlin turned Arthur's head so that he could see it.

"So, that's where people go when they die?"

Merlin smiled.

"Only when they earn it. It's where you belong, Arthur. You're the Once and Future King. The world might need you again."

Arthur huffed.

"Why? I'm not much good without you."

Merlin kissed him.

"That's why I'm going with you. We're two sides of the same coin. I can't be without you."

Arthur shook his head.

"The children need you. Camelot needs you."

"Camelot has your knights, it's in good hands. The children have my mother. Don't argue with me."

Arthur laughed.

"It never did me much good, did it?"

Merlin shook her head.

"You know, it's funny. Years ago Gwaine told me that when you died it'd be with a sword in your hand after you'd become king, gotten married, and had children. I said that's the way you would want it."

"You know me so well, and apparently, so does Gwaine."

Arthur leaned up and pressed his lips to Merlin's in a chaste kiss.

"I love you, Merlin." he whispered. Merlin knew that they would be the last words Arthur spoke in this life.

"I love you too, Arthur." she said as she felt the life leave him. Merlin stood up with Arthur in her arms, Excalibur still clutched in his grasp, and walked to the gate.

"Welcome Emrys. We have been waiting for you and your king." a smooth voice said just before she stepped through.

"I know." Merlin whispered. She walked through the gate and disappeared from the world without a second glance.

/

Thousands of years later a little girl was born with black hair and startlingly blue eyes. Her family couldn't have been more proud as they crowded in front of the glass to the nursery to look at her. Beside her was a newborn baby boy with similar blue eyes and blonde hair. He looked over at her and when their eyes met, her blue eyes turned gold. She reached for him, and he reached back. History was about to repeat itself.


End file.
